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August 21, 2010

Shark Bites Poop! (But why?)

There are two kinds of poop: Regular poop and fossil poop! See, if a dinosaur busted a grumpy, that dinosaur dookie could turn into a fossil poop, which we scientists call a coprolite. And it was on a piece of dinosaur poop that an ancient shark’s teeth marks were found.

What the heck? Why would a shark take a bite of poop? Sharks don’t eat feces... so it's the Mystery of the Fossil Poop! Luckily for us, a sharp fellow named Brian Switek has a theory. Maybe a shark bit through another animal’s side, where its teeth left imprints on some poop that was still INSIDE the other animal!

What a great idea. Although it’s just a theory, I now declare the Mystery of the Fossil Poop officially closed!
Images from Brian Switek.

2 comments:

  1. O Great Grossness! I have been thinking about this 'theory' now for a couple of days and frankly I think its a lot of shark poopy. Biting inside another animal and having both the poop and the teeth marks stay? No. Instead, and here stay with me, I think it would have gone something like this: "Egad," said the random prehistoric sea creature,"here comes a shark to attack me. That scares the poopy out of me!!" Shark: "I'm a killing machine and am just going to freak out for a minute and bite anything in the water. Hey, it's just what I do...Hang on a tick, that doesn't taste right, pooey." And speaking as someone who's been too close in the water to a shark for comfort, I just think that the chances of "emissional evidence" seem much higher than random bites through all the bits that would otherwise also have to be penetrated to get to the poopy storage parts ... sorry, what were we talking about?

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  2. Absolutely brilliant, and I thank you. This needs to be labeled the "Pooey? Phooey!" theory. For it is only by giving this fine idea an impressive title that scientists will pay it the respect it deserves.

    On a more personal note, I am pleased to share that I have never been in the company of "emissional evidence" while visiting the local swimming hole.

    But while my fellow swimmers have masterful control of their poopy storage parts (due, in part, to the fact that prehistoric sharks are not allowed membership at said swimming hole), I have often suspected they are guilty of evacuating their pee-pee storage parts. How else to explain the changes in water temperature as swimmers pass by me as I float in my inflatable water wings?

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No bad words, thanks!