Ye Olde Bum Wiper

You have to admit, that's a pretty impressive toilet paper holder! Of course, it's holding the perfect toilet paper roll...I'm guessing that my Care Bears t.p. might not look as good.

This product has the unwieldy name of A Knight to Remember Gothic Bath Tissue Holder. Which is bogus, because anyone who's truly Gothic doesn't wipe...and knights just held it! (Taking off all that armor to bust a grumpy was just too much trouble.) All of which reminds me of a poem that got a lot of mileage in ye olde family home:

In days of old, when knights were bold

And toilets had not been invented

They laid their load by the side of the road

And went away, contented.