Your Best Medical Advice: Suck Off the Dirt

I was at my dentist’s the other day, when a question came to me.

“Hey, if one of my teeth got knocked out, should I save it in a cold glass of milk and bring it in?” I asked. (I’d read this is a good method for saving a tooth so that it can be put back in.)

“Why would one of your teeth get knocked out?” the dentist asked back. Clearly, she’s never read this blog! (I get attacked regularly when people recognize me as its author.)

Anyway, I was thinking of this when I saw an article with the coolest headline ever:

What to Do When Body Parts Fall Off

It turns out that there are rules for when various chunks of your body start popping off of you. So if your fingers or toes get chopped off, do the following:

1.) Scream something like, "My FINGERRRRRRRRrrrrrr!"

2.) Stop the bleeding and retrieve the finger or toe. Rinse it off but DON’T scrub it.

3.) Wrap your poor little digit in clean gauze.

4.) You want to keep the finger of toe COLD but don’t pack it in ice. (If it’s touching ice, you can give your tootsie freezer burn!) Instead, put the wrapped finger or toe in a plastic bag and put that bag in cold water.

5.) Take it with you to the hospital!

Okay, but what if your EYEBALL gets poked out! Apparently, it can’t because the optic nerve will hold it in your head, but your eye can get dislodged. In that case, don’t try to poke it back in…just let it hang on your cheek and go to the doctor.

Ooh, and if your tooth gets knocked out? It turns out that milk isn’t needed. Instead, just rinse the tooth off and keep it moist, especially the ligament hanging of the end of it. (Ulp!) 

The article quotes Dr. Kimberly Harms, who said that if you can’t rinse the tooth off, then you should “suck off the dirt”! But that seems crazy...after all, you don't know where that tooth has been!

Oh wait— yes you do.

Then stick the tooth back in its socket…and if it won’t fit, keep the tooth in your cheek while you go to the dentist. (Good idea!)

The tiger above is the Funny Rolling Eyeballs 

Pop-out Tiger Silicone Stress Reliever 

Relieving Toy Gift Halloween Prop,

 as seen here.