True Champions Poop Their Pants!

"Is there time to hit the loo?"

When people get nervous, they have to poop. And athletes get nervous a lot! The bigger the game (or race, or whatever), worse it is. Of course, athletes usually hold it, but not always.

Which is why one “digestive research” poll found that 75% of athletes have pooped their pants at one time or another!

"Must escape surfer log!"

Pro surfer Kelly Slater says the need to “GO” can even happen in the ocean. “The secret for going No. 2 in the ocean is being down current from everybody. You don't want to go UP current at your friends. That's rude.”

If the athletes are lucky, they take care of business BEFORE the big game. Take the 2010 Super Bowl. The players on the New Orleans Saints called it the Super Bowel! Linebacker Scott Fujita said, “We are moments away from the Super Bowl, the highlight of our athletic lives, and pretty much everyone is in the bathroom just absolutely blowing up the stalls.”

And now join me for the Athlete’s Pants-Pooping Hall of Fame!

—Car Accident! In 2004, NASCAR racer Tony Stewart notified his pit crew that he was coming in to take a dump. Shortly afterwards, he radioed in again: “Never mind.” 

I love this picture.

— NFL players use the saying “snot-bubbled” to describe when a player gets hit so hard, he gets the snot knocked out of him. But there should be a new saying: poop-bubbled! That’s what happened in 2007 to an unnamed Carolina Panthers player. He took a vicious hit to the lower body and pooped his pants. That was a bad day to be wearing white pants. 

—There are PortaPotties all along marathon routes. But it takes precious time to go in, lock the door, and wipe up afterwards. In 2005, runner Paula Radcliffe was just a few miles from winning the London Marathon but SHE HAD TO GO. So Radcliffe balanced herself on a metal barricade and pulled her shorts over. Then she pooped right on the street, right next to a spectator! After that, she took off running (wouldn't you?), won the marathon, and set a world record.

—In 1996, the women’s winner of the Boston Marathon was Uta Pippig. When she crossed the finish line, she was covered in diarrhea. I will not describe any more details.
Fun Fact: Runners and power-walkers call the farting that comes before a big poop the “walkie-talkies.”
(Click “Read more” to read more.)

HOLDING IT: You have to clench your muscles to “hold it.” But when an athlete is exercising, most of the body’s energy goes to the heart, lungs, and other muscles. The digestive system is now playing second-string.

So if things get crazy, the intestines just give up, and send EVERYTHING down the poop chute!

Now the athlete has to make a choice: “Do I continue competing and maybe poop my pants? Or do I stop competing and take care of business?”

You could argue that true champions never surrender. And that may be so! So the moral of our story would then be: True champions poop their pants.

NOTE: The stories above came from an awesome, in-depth article by ESPN writer David Fleming. It has MUCH more information on this subject, so use that link to read it...if you dare!

Top photo from Corbis,

surfer wipeout from here,
frogs from here.