Literature? Shore Thing!

To clean things up here at Ultra-Gross, I decided to read a novel. After all, literature raises our eyes to the stars and help us forget life's disgusting details!

Let's see, I'll just start in on this new novel called A Shore Thing by a writer named Snooki. I'm ready for art! Wait, what's this?

"I swore that day that if I could help anyone in the future not poop themselves, I would."

Well, so much for THAT experiment. Thanks for nothing, Snooki!