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Tallulah Bankhead (1903-1968) was a famous actress from yesteryear. But famous or not, she once found herself in a bathroom stall without toilet paper.
“Darling, is there any tissue in there?” Tallulah asked the woman in the adjacent stall.
“Sorry, no.”
“Then have you any Kleenex?” Tallulah inquired.
“Afraid not.”
There was a pause, then Tallulah said, “My dear, have you two fives for a ten?”
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No bad words, thanks!