WARNING: You've Never Seen Anything Like It

I know, I shouldn't post horrible pictures from accidents, even if they're mine!

Good News! Now I know what it's like to fly over my bike's handlebars.
Bad News! I wiped out because I'm a dork.
Worse News! I tore my new shirt AND I got Neosporin on the couch. D'oh!

And here are some ways to describe brutal wipeouts:
bacon strips: The long scabs of road rash someone gets from wiping out on asphalt.
biff: To wipe out.
chunder: Another good word for biffing.
core sample: Bike handlebars have hollow tubing. If someone wipes out and lands on the end of their handlebar, it's like a cookie cutter . . . and there you have a core sample.
corn dog: To wipe out and get all covered in dirt.
crayon mark: The blood and snot left behind on the road after a good chunder.
endo: Wiping out on a bike and flipping end-over-end over the handlebars.
FDGB: An abbreviation for “Fall Down, Go Boom.”
involuntary dismount: A crash.
yard sale: A wipeout so serious that the person is sprawled on the ground with all his equipment spread around him.

If your friend wipes out, here's how you can help him feel better:

• “I am here for you.”
• “What hurts you hurts me.”
• “It’s okay if you cry. I won’t tell.”
• “I’ll tell your mother that you love her.”
• “Turn that frown upside down! Oh wait, you already ARE upside down.”