Eating Spicy Food Makes Your Bum Burn!

Via.

I think you already knew this. (I know I did.) But in case we ever need evidence, now we have it:

Scientists did a study on poop. Specifically, they wanted to know if eating spicy food makes going poop a more— er... painful experience. You know, with burning?

So the scientists added chili powder to the food of a group of people. Then they observed the results. These can be summed up this way:

"Oh no... The pain! The fire! It burns!"

I'm glad we cleared that up.

There's no way you're going to want to read the actual study. Okay, if you insist, go over here. It's called "Red Hot Chilli Consumption Is Harmful in Patients... A Randomized, Double-Blind, Controlled Study." 

Another good name could be "Mean Scientists Make People Take Fiery Poops."

BONUS: Below are a judge's comments after scoring a chili-cooking contest. 

After eating: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my  forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. The other judges asked me to stop screaming. 

After pooping: I’ve lost sight in one eye. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. My intestines are now filled with sulfuric flames. Can’t feel my butt anymore. I need to wipe my backside with a  snow cone.