When will you put your hand in the toilet?

By jurvetson.

“What have you dropped in the toilet? And what have you fished back OUT of it?”

This is the rather odd question posed in a recent poll. The answers, from a poll of 1,000 women:

24% of women have frequently dropped their cell phones in the john. Other commonly splashed items included toothbrushes, make-up, wallets, and medicine.

Ah, but what would you reach INTO the toilet to fish out? Most women thought the underwater item needed to be worth $75 or more to take the plunge. But 16% thought that no matter WHAT the item was, there was no way they were going fishing for it.

Me? I wouldn’t go diving for a penny, but a nickel? You betcha!

International Gross Stuff!

1.) In the United States, it's considered good luck to say, "Break a leg" to a performer before he or she goes out on stage.

In Sweden, it's considered good luck to kick an actor in the butt before he or she goes out on stage!

2.) Through most of the 20th century, the most common method of execution in Mongolia was to nail the victim into a wooden coffin and leave him to die.

Which way should the toilet paper roll ROLL?

You have two choices, A or B. 

Here's who chooses B (where the toilet paper hangs from the front): 

EVERYBODY!

And here's who uses A: 

People with cats.

Now here's a slightly more in-depth look at the "Over or Under" toilet paper debate:

Gross Question for the New Year!

dee & tula monstah

Here's another good question that's come up: Do seeing-eye dogs poop in public?

My family used to train Guide Dogs for the Blind, and yet I don’t know the answer! In fact, I have never seen ANY service dog pooping in public. So do the dogs hold it until breaktime? 

And when it’s time to go, does a seeing-eye dog guide its blind master to a lawn? If so, does its master understand what’s going on, and somehow pick up the poop?

Good questions all. And good dogs, too!

Reading in the bathroom? Okay! (EATING? Noooo!)

From Dr. Isis

Yesterday, someone told me she had to go “drop a deuce.” This was her way of saying she had to poop.

I hadn’t heard that one before! I also hadn’t yet seen a survey that asked people what they talked about in the bathroom. Now I don’t usually talk in the bathroom, except for some encouraging words to myself: “Come on, you can do it, there you go, etc.”

But at school and work bathrooms, people talk with each other. The survey revealed these tidbits:

• 86% of people have conversations in the bathroom
• 57% said hearing someone else in the restroom made them uncomfortable
• 56% were uncomfortable asking the person in the next stall to pass some toilet paper.
• 53% cover the seat with toilet paper when away from home
• Over 50% were grossed out by people who eat in the bathroom
• 41% of people gossip
• 30% talk about their jobs
• 31% smush toilet paper into a “snowball” to wipe
• 28% fold toilet paper into squares to wipe
• 25% were offended by people who have cell phone conversations in the bathroom
• 19% sterilize the toilet seat with a hand sanitizer or baby wipe.
• 10% think reading in the bathroom is wrong
• 10% just sit on the toilet without wiping or covering it

The most amazing part of this study for me was this: People EAT in the bathroom?! Blaugh! Now THAT’S gross.

News survey from Georgia-Pacific,

as seen on MSNBC.

Goliath Busts a Grumpy!

I wrote about the Spanish tradition of El Caganer just the other day. And now I’ve seen something that really blows my mind: The biggest El Caganer in the world!

Look at that pooping peasant! Located in a mall in Catalonia, Spain, the statue crouches over six meters high. As for his perfectly coiled feces, it’s taller than most pre-schoolers! 

But best of all is the way the mammoth Spanish statue is both taking a dump AND pulling candy from a bag like it’s no big thing!

Photo from MSNBC.

"Going Commando" in Scotland!

You know what “going commando” means, right? Yep, it means not wearing underwear. There are a number of reasons why a person might not wear underwear.

1.) He does not own any underwear.

2.) All of his underwear is dirty.

3.) There are no other reasons not to wear underwear.

Despite the above, kilt-wearing Scots are famous for going commando. In fact, the rule was that if you had underwear on under your kilt, you weren’t a real Scotsman. 

But it’s the 21st century, and even kilt-wearers need to start pulling on some skivvies. At least, that’s the message that the Scottish Tartans Authority is sending. Its officers say that NOT wearing underwear beneath a kilt is “childish and unhygienic.”

Hey, sort of like this blog!

Telegraph article here,

photos by Michael 1952,

and John Haslam.

Make Me a Coffin with Racing Flames!

Death is just part of life. And since life is gross, it makes sense that death would be gross, too. (I mean, all that decomposing…come on!)

But just because death is disgusting doesn’t mean it has to be such a downer. Or at least, that’s the attitude of the good people at . . . Happy Coffins!

The Happy Coffin website says that they want to “dismantle the taboos surrounding Death & Dying by encouraging 'die-logues' about this often-sensitive subject.” 

Get it? DIE-logues? You’re killing me! And once that happens, you may as well put me in a light-hearted coffin. And that's actually a healthy attitude to take about death. Even so, I was surprised to see that the Happy Coffin people had set up a page for “Death” on Facebook. (Do I really have to be FRIENDS with it?!)

Yom Kippur is so fun, I can't sit down!

The Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur rolled past recently. It’s known as the Day of Atonement. To observe it properly, Jews don’t eat or drink during its whole 24-hour duration.

This is tough for anyone who is addicted to caffeine. If these people can’t drink coffee, they get jittery migraine headaches during Yom Kippur. It's horrible! Is there any way these poor people can get their caffeine without drinking it? Yes!

With a suppository! You know, those big gel tabs that people stick up their…er…butts? Yep, just stick a caffeine suppository up there, and your body gets all the caffeine it would normally have...without the bad breath!

Some people might think that putting a “bump in your trunk” is cheating. An observant Jew named Baruch Herzfeld said, “[Some people] love a good loophole.” (Get it? "Loophole"?)

And not all Jewish leaders love this idea. Rabbi Simcha Weinstein said, “We wanna keep Jews in the synagogue and not in the bathroom.”

Uh...amen?

Top picture from HALOLZ,
hat from zazzle,

quotes from this story.

Unplugged!

You’ve seen people with earlobe gauges before, like this nice guy who I met at Chicago's Wrigley Field. Like me, you may have wondered what inspires a person to stick something the size of an artillery shell through their earlobes. Well, it turns out there are a number of VERY GOOD REASONS to get an ear hole like this.

I’m sure I’ll think of one in a second.

Anyway, to make a hole this big in your earlobe requires work! So first you pierce the ear. Then you start stretching that hole by sticking larger and larger “gauges” into the hole to stretch it out. (The term gauge is a size measurement, like a 12 gauge shotgun.) The problem is that once that hole is bigger than six millimeters across, it’s not going to grow back.

And the odds are that some morning, a person with holey ears might look in the mirror and ask, "Why did I do that?" So today, there are a number of doctors who’ll reconstruct the whole earlobe for them! (That's the picture above.) But what if you stretch out an earlobe hole, then get a doctor to repair it, and then you change your mind and start a new ear plug earhole? What would happen?

A plastic surgeon said, “They'd run the risk of literally tearing their earlobe apart. It wouldn't withstand the stretching, and they'd have two little pieces.” Downer!

Second picture and quote from over here.

Use a One-Way Mirror Toilet…I Dare You!

How weird would it be to do your business in a public bathroom like this? This usable toilet surrounded by a one-way mirror was made by a woman named Monica Bonvicini. Installed in London, the idea was to test if people could “defy their own embarrassment” and pee and/or poop in it.

And I don’t know if I could do it! As you can see, the outside of the bathroom is mirrored glass, while from the inside, you can see everything clearly.

If I was inside and someone outside came up and pretended he could see me, I would start wondering, “Has some switch been thrown that allows people to see in?”

I suppose this kind of pooping paranoia is normal…and just for the record, there is no “switch” that reverses the glass. (Thank goodness!)

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

The Most Dangerous Loogies in the World!

Do you know what gutkha is? It’s just spit. Gross, gross spit that can eat through steel! To explain, many people in Asia like to chew betel leaves, areca nuts, and lime all together in their mouths. Together, these chew-toys are called paan.

A person chewing paan has to spit out the combined juices. This stream of brown spit-juice is called gutkha. And not only is gutkha nasty, it’s also destroying a steel bridge in Calcutta! You see, people crossing the Howrah bridge just spit when they have too much gutkha in their mouths.

Bridge officials noticed that the corroding spit of gutkha has eaten away up to half of the Howrah bridge’s steel covers in just the last three years! Yep, that spit can eat away steel…so what is it doing in people’s MOUTHS?!

Story here, more on paan here. 

Shofar, Sho Good

A shofar is a ram horn that's blown on during some Jewish ceremonies. 

When somebody gives the shofar a blast, it sounds sort of like this: 

VaaaaBOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOoooooOOOO— *gasp!* —VAAAAAboooOOOOOoooooOOOOOOooooo!

Why did I just tell you that? Read this joke and you'll see!

Mrs. Kahn was an elderly Jewish woman who had a little problem with stealing things. But she was a nice old lady, so the rabbi of her temple just kept an eagle eye on her. 

After services one Saturday, the rabbi told Mrs. Kahn, “Shabbat Shalom” and shook her hand, causing a candlestick to fall from her sleeve. 

The rabbi sighed and picked it up, then patted Mrs. Kahn on the back, and a prayer book fell out of her jacket. “You know, Mrs Kahn, you can borrow a book whenever you like,” said the rabbi. 

Mrs Kahn finally turned to go, and as she did, she let out a stupendous fart. And the rabbi exclaimed, “Oh, Mrs. Kahn, not the shofar!”

Ha! (I read this at Tablet: A New Read on Jewish Life.)

The Bathroom Door is Not Sound-Proof!

As we know, nobody likes to be heard peeing or pooping. Just ask anyone who uses the Pee Without Noise Stool. (Or Marilyn Monroe!)

The Japanese always seem to be pioneers when it comes to bathroom technology. After all, back in the 1800s, a Japanese genius came up with the idea for the Otokeshi-no Tsubo: “Urn for Covering the Sound.” 

The urn was filled with water and put in the bathroom. So when someone needed to pee or poop, the idea was to pull the plug on the urn and let the water flow out of the dragon's mouth. This gurgling would mask the sound of pooping and peeing.

And now the Japanese have come up with yet ANOTHER genius bathroom invention: it’s named the Keitai Otohime, but it’s probably easier just to call it the first-ever, palm-sized pee and poop audio masker.

Basically, it’s a keychain-sized version of the Urn for Covering the Sound. The small electronic device costs about $15, and makes flushing, gurgling sounds. (There is also an iPhone application called “Eco Oto” that does the same thing.) 

But the cool thing about it is that the Keitai Otohime  saves water. That’s because the average Japanese woman flushes the toilet more than two times to conceal her pooping and peeing sounds. That means this device will save four gallons of water every time someone goes to the bathroom!

But maybe the day will come when we no longer need these devices. As a Japanese woman said in this news story, “My own excretory sounds never make me embarrassed. It's much more embarrassing to put on makeup on the train.” Totally. I feel the same way!

Oh, and here’s a 1980s' version of the Keitai Otohime.

Underwear Traditions South of the Border

In Mexico and most of Central America, there is an interesting New Year’s tradition. Everyone brings in the new year wearing fresh underwear! I don’t mean clean, I mean brand-new underwear. And odds are that the new underwear are either yellow or red.

Here’s the difference: If someone is wearing yellow underwear, he or she wants to make MONEY in the coming year. On the other cheek, red underwear means the person is hoping to get lucky in LOVE! (This year, most people wore yellow, apparently.)

This is interesting. What if you were at a New Year’s party in Mexico City, and at midnight you jumped up and down and other people saw your underwear? If you had on tightie-whities, would you be a loser? What if you just wore the underwear on your head (left)?

And what about black underwear? Maybe your New Year’s resolution was never to see bacon strips again. If so, that’d be the underwear to wear… under there! (Oh, and FYI, it's impossible to write about underwear and Mexico without using the phrase “south of the border.” Dang it!)

Story here.