November 22, 2016

You know I wrote a funny novel, right? It's called THE DRAKE EQUATION!

In 2016, Disney published my debut novel, The Drake Equation. It’s a funny science fiction adventure about Noah Grow, a young birdwatcher who’s drawn into galactic intrigue. 

Right now, the book has an average Amazon rating of 5 stars, AND my editor at Disney worked with Rick Riordan on his Percy Jackson books, so yay!
“[This novel] has a lot going for it. There’s an immensely likable protagonist and his marvelous twin friends, a school life that feels true . . . and a mystery that really engages the reader. King tosses a lot of balls in the air, keeping the twists fast and furious, but thankfully, while Noah is suitably overwhelmed, the reader isn’t.” San Francisco Review of Books 
“Readers after funny sc-fi fare may enjoy the book’s absurdities, alien misunderstandings, and wordplay.” Booklist 
“Librarians will find that young readers empathize with the young birdwatcher and his friends…. children will enjoy the school and friendship aspects of the story.” Teacher Librarian Magazine 
“Noah is a strong enough character to snag interest and keep it… there’s clever humor and a great central protagonist to carry readers along to the end.” Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books 
“Mock ‘field notes’ [offer] information from Noah’s perspective in a clever, albeit gratuitous way. A sci-fi narrative with an enjoyable main character.” Kirkus

July 3, 2015

Gas Science!

by Paul VanDerWerf
I just read a study titled "Influence of body posture on intestinal transit of gas." It's conclusion?
Body posture has a significant influence on intestinal gas propulsion: transit is faster in the upright position than when supine.
In other words, stand up if you need to, er, pass gas!

June 26, 2015

A Most Poetic, Funny, and Embarrassing Description of . . . Passing Gas

A gentleman known only as Grrrmachine recently shared this childhood story. He was playing defense in a soccer match at school when the ball came his way. And as he tried to stop a shot on goal, he passed gas in a legendary fashion:
. . . the fart erupted like Concorde breaking the sound barrier. It blasted across the playing field like a shockwave, silencing everything it swept across. One by one, the other boys in other matches faltered in their running or stopped altogether, turning their heads towards the sounds of the colonic explosion. 
Referees halted, teachers froze, and still the fart rolled on across the flat November field. Then it hit the tall brick wall surrounding the school environs and rolled back in a sulphuric, farting echo, a mocking doppelganger of the original fart repeated over and over until it was swept away in the autumn wind.
 I stood still, letting the last waves of flatuence wash over myself and my classmates. No-one moved for what felt like eternity. Then the teacher slowly, robotically, lifted his whistle to his lips and blew a single solitary peep. The ball had rolled into my goal, and we'd lost the game.

May 24, 2015

Coral Snakes and the Fart of Death

By D. Filipiak
Coral snakes are poisonous snakes. They’re also small and pretty quiet. So how can the snakes warn other creatures not to mess with them?

By farting. Check it!

When provoked, coral snakes make a popping sound by expelling air from their cloaca, a single opening for the urinary, reproductive and intestinal tract, to startle the threat.  Scientists disagree about the behavior's purpose. Some have speculated that it is a mating call, but Gemano said that in his research, the fart was always associated with an aggressive-defensive behavior.

May 17, 2015

It's very important that you read this story from "Iceland Magazine"

Here's the lead—finish the rest of it here!
Shampoo made of cow urine based on an old Icelandic tradition 
Icelandic entrepreneurs are now marketing shampoo with cow urine as one of its ingredients. Women soaking their hair in cow urine was a common practice in Iceland for centuries when soap was a far fetched luxury. It was believed to work miracles on the hair, leaving it revitalised and shining. 
The new hair soap is called Q Shampoo (Q literally sounds in Icelandic like the Icelandic word for a cow “kú”).