Your Guide to Gross Numbers

We all know what it means when a young child or school principal is running around, bent over, and crying, "I have to go Number One!"

But what few people realize is that the Gross Numbering System goes beyond just Numbers One and Two. Behold!

• Number 1: Pee

• Number 2: Poop
 

• Number 2.5: Diarrhea
 

• Number 3: Barf
• Number 4: Mouth barf that comes up after a burp.
 

• Number 5: Snot
• Number 5.5: Boogers
• Number 6: Pus
• Number 7: Ear Wax
• Number 8: Toe Jam
• Number 8.5: That weird dirt that gets stuck under your toenails.

• Number 9: Sweat
• Number 10: Belly Button Lint

I guess my work is done here for now. Time to head home!

Illustration: Algebra Help,

and thanks to b3ta.