Showing posts with label headlines. Show all posts
Showing posts with label headlines. Show all posts
June 29, 2014
October 19, 2012
This is a very fine story.
From KMOX, a CBS radio station in St. Louis:
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Leading To
Odd Emergency
Room Visits
While school administrators across the nation try to remove
Flamin’ Hot Cheetos from their lunchrooms, emergency room physicians are
fighting a different battle.
St. Louis Children’s Hospital pediatrician Dr. Kathleen Berchelmann
says Flamin’ Hot Cheetos contain a lot of red food dye and when kids eat large
amounts of them, eventually it turns their stool bright red or orange.
Parents, she says, falsely believe they’re seeing blood in
the stool and take the kids to the ER to find out nothing is wrong.
“So even though we might eat some foods with red food dye in
them regularly, our stool doesn’t usually become discolored unless you eat huge
amounts of it,” Berchelmann said. “Flamin’ Hot Cheetos is one food that people
will eat enormous amounts of and will see a change in their stool.”
December 24, 2011
All I want for Christmas is a slime blob.
Sure, the slime molds move around. They're alive, aren't they? But what I really like about this story is its headline:
Slime Blobs Appear in OckbrookThat's poetry!
November 6, 2011
ANOTHER great headline!
So authorities held onto Babatunde until he pooped. Then they inspected his bowel movement. Nothing! So they waited for the next poop. Nothing! Over 24 days, they inspected 25 of Babatunde's poops. Nothing!
So they let him go. In addition to the pure gold of the "Nigerian actor freed after 25 bowel movements" headline, the article states:
But after 24 days in detention during which his bowel movements were earnestly followed by authorities and the media, an apologetic High Court judge in Lagos ordered his release.
Judge Yetunde Idowu told Babatunde: "I wish you well. Take care of yourself. You are free to go home."
Gee, thanks!
November 5, 2011
November 4, 2011
NewsFlash: Tennis pro strains his right butt cheek while sleeping!
 |
| From here. |
Andy Murray Strained His Butt While Sleeping
This could also lead one to say immature things like "he has a pain in his butt", but I'll resist the temptation.
And if you're keeping score, Andy Murray also hurt his hand last year while playing his PlayStation.
September 3, 2011
August 12, 2011
Special Delivery!
That is one mighty fine deadline!
"I've been posting my letters in the dog poo box for TWO YEARS"
From here.
August 8, 2011
March 16, 2011
Headline Excellence
Sometimes a news story has a headline so perfect, all I can do is sit back in admiration:
I'll bet the writer who came up with "Strip Search Finds Crack Between Buttocks" is laughing himself to sleep every night. (Story here.)
January 8, 2011
When will the Uranus headlines end?
I'm not surprised when silly blogs (like this one!) have gross headlines. But National Geographic? Come on!
Now look what you've done, National Geographic. Even the Christian Science Monitor is copying you!
May 8, 2010
Can a Jellyfish Have a “City of Gonads”?
As you know, Ultra-Gross has never had a story about gonads before. Today, we break that policy to share with you this, the coolest headline ever:
It’s from this National Geographic article about a newly discovered jellyfish that has its gonads on the OUTSIDES of its body. Upon close inspection of the jellyfish, a scientist said these gonads look like “skyscrapers in a downtown business district.”
Imagine the conversation when that scientist got home!
“What did you do at work today?”
“I closely inspected a jellyfish’s gonads.”
“What did THOSE look like?”
“Skyscrapers.”
Lisa-Ann Gershwin also gave this new jellfish the finest name ever given to a jellyfish with external gonads: MEDEOPOLIS, which is Latin for “city of gonads.”
January 19, 2010
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