I'm just going to go pee and—MY EYES!

These urinals from Japan's Robot Restaurant basically do this to your eyes:

Seen on top of a urinal

Can you see that? Here's a close-up:

Still nothing? Check under the break for a clue:

From the amazing author Gary Urey...

"So glad I read the warning before I took a big slurp."

Check out Gary Urey's hilarious books (like Super Shnoz and the Gates of Smell) HERE!

Peeing in Paris in the 1800s

No, that's not the title of a new musical film. It describes these outdoor stalls that French men could pee in back in 1875!

It would be sort of weird to use those, though.

"Good morning, Jacques.""Good morning!" *tries to go*"Hi Jacques!""Hello!" *tries to go*"Mommy, look at that man go wee-wee!""Oh, forget it." *zip*

Sink Urinal?

Since urine is sterile, this is completely unnecessary.

Hey, why are you giving me that look? Via.

*snicker*

Via.

This is a urinal cake.

You're welcome!

Peeing is good exercise!

Wait—there's such a thing as a "female urinal"?

Oh.

Who wants a warm drink?

Now THAT'S friendship!

French Horn Urinals?

Okay! Via.

Prepare to grimace!

I see I have a few disgusting items this morning. For example, here's some amazing close-ups of healthy human eyes!

Ooh, and at Louisville, the urinals reflect that they don't much like the University of Kentucky.

Finally, this guy won the world "gurning" (or "face making" championship!

Poop With a View

This functioning toilet enclosed by glass walls is in a garden in Japan. All the pretty flowers will be planted in the ground soon; once they are, this will be the most awesome place to bust a grumpy on the planet . . . as long as nobody ELSE is in the garden with you! The story of the "biggest public toilet in the world" here.

If you prefer a smaller bathroom, this one has only six inches between urinals!

Pop Quiz: Urinals!

Here’s your pop quiz for today. Read this and guess the gender of the writer!

Via.

People dislike peeing next to each other. So there is a little dance you do when you go into a multi-stall bathroom. You casually glance (no bending over to check, that's rude) to see if other stalls are occupied, and if so, how many. If no other stalls are occupied, you pick your favorite stall, maybe because it's the one that always has toilet paper, maybe it's the one with a slower automatic flush, maybe it's got interesting graffiti. 

However, what if other stalls are occupied? Then, quick math takes over. You need to pick the stall that is the furthest from other people's pooping. Sometimes this is easy and you can pick a stall two over, with a single stall barrier in between you and your peeing partner. 

Got it? The article is written by “scicurious” over at Neurotic Physiology. (I paraphrased it slightly.) But since the post was titled “The Urinal Problem”, I assumed that scicurious was male . . . after all, only men use urinals, right?

Wrong. When a woman pees in a toilet, it’s magically *ta-dah!* a urinal. Now I know. (And knowing is half the battle!)

Oh, just fix it already!

They're called "Toylets"— Get it? Get it?

Although the idea of urinal games is no longer new, this is interesting: Sega is putting in “Toylets” in Tokyo urinals.

This involves a game screen in front of the pee-er, who can choose from games like “Mannekin Pis” (measures how hard you can pee) and “Graffiti Eraser” (you remove paint by aiming a hose in different directions).

Hey, but what if you’re trying to, er, remove graffiti and you miss the urinal?

An infra-red device cuts off play if gamers stray too far from the urinal, reducing the amount of mess.

A Sega spokesperson said, “At first, we thought it would really be only young people who would like this kind of game. But ... we're seeing this phenomenon where people are enjoying playing with it, regardless of age.”

Yeah, just like kids, old men will spell their names in the snow, too! (Via.)

As you enjoy this ad for a new urinal, remember:

This is NOT a joke!

H.E.M. = Hygienic Equipment for Men

F.I.S.H. = Something men pee with

Video Game Urinals

So a bar in England has urinals that activate video games above them when you pee. If you follow this link, you'll hear the thing that surprised me most about the story: In the U.K., urinals are pronounced "yur-EYE-nalz"!

When it comes to peeing in public, I insist on the best.

And that's why I only urinate at the Rothesay public restroom at the Isle of Bute in the U.K.

Sure, it's out of my way, but look at this place. It's gorgeous!

From here.