Thinking about picking your nose?

Why not have a deity do it for you? (Via.)

Priests pray for criminal (to get diarrhea!)

Sometimes I'm lucky enough to see a story that is SO perfect, it needs no further explanation. THIS is that story!

In a rather un-Godly call for vengeance, the priests at a church in Florence (Italy) are praying that a dose of "the runs" will convince the unidentified pilferer of the error of his ways.

"We pray that the Good Lord will visit a strong bout of the trots on this thief and that this will help to convince him not to commit any more thefts," reads a sign put up by clergy at the Basilica of San Salvatore al Monte, a hilltop church which commands views of the Renaissance city.

The notice said that in addition to praying for a sudden loosening of the bowels, the priests were also hoping that the thief will repent of his crime and return the stolen holy books.

Two prized Bibles – one of them donated by a wealthy benefactor – have been stolen in recent days from the church, which is located near Piazzale Michelangelo, an esplanade with an impressive panorama of Florence and the River Arno.

They have been replaced by two new Bibles – one in Italian and the other in English.

"The language used by the brother who wrote the notice may not have been very clean, but the Lord, and the faithful, will understand," an unnamed priest told La Stampa newspaper.

Just in case the Holy Father fails to grant them their prayer, the priests have also taken the precaution of reporting the thefts to the police.

From the Telegraph.

Ultra-Gross goes old school... the Old Testament way!

"Where are your SHOVELS?"

Back in ancient times, folks followed pooping rules . . . just like today! And we can find some of these rules in the Old Testament of the Bible.

For example, in the book of Deuteronomy, Moses gives some insights into proper pooping:

And you should keep a shovel among your weapons; and when you sit down outdoors, you shall dig with that paddle, and you shall bury and cover that which comes from you.

Translation: When you poop outdoors, do it in a hole that you dug with your handy shovel. And then cover your poop-hole up! (And no, nobody ever calls it the book of Doo-teronomy.)