One hole or two?

Via.

This joke comes from the laugh-fest that was the Civil War. See, the Union commander-in-chief was General George McClellan. He was horrible! McClellan was so indecisive, he refused to go into battle unless he KNEW he would win.

Result: McClellan almost never went to battle. And this drove Abraham Lincoln nuts. So, here’s the joke:

Abe went to visit George McClellan at his new headquarters. Attracted to the sounds of hammering, Abe found a soldier building an outhouse near the general’s quarters.

“Will that be a one-holer or a two-holer?” Abe asked. (Outhouses that could seat two people were called “two-holers.”

“A one-holer, Mr. President,” the soldier answered.

“Thank goodness,” Abe said. “If it was a two-holer, George would poop his pants before he could make up his mind which one to use.”

*rimshot*

Get out of that kid's way!

He's performing an important task for me.

The Long Drop (or "Why Kiwis Rule!")

As you have heard, the New Zealand city of Christchurch was recently hit with a major earthquake. The people there responded with their trademark courage and humor.

For example, since they've lost their plumbing, the Kiwis have had to come up with creative toilets.

Enter Show Us Your Long Drop! It's a blog devoted to pictures of new pooping arrangements, like the colorful one above known as Lambert's Lavatory.

Take a visit and admire the resourcefulness of New Zealanders!

Is that a sloth crawling out of that toilet?

"Why, hello there!"

Sloths are slow-moving creatures. REALLY slow-moving. This gives the sloth plenty of time to think about what it's doing.

So why, oh WHY, are sloths in Peru climbing into outhouses and eating human poop?

The fine website Tetrapod Zoology has a report on this strange behavior. It's not known if the sloths want the salt in human pee, or maybe the bugs in human poop.

But however you look at it, it's not very appealing!

Ride that outhouse! Yeehaw!

I don't know why that crazy man is riding his outhouse. (I also don't know why he's flying his long underwear from a stick!) But it did remind me of a story about a man named Zebulon Vance.

He was the Confederate governor of North Carolina during the Civil War. After the war, Vance received a pardon, and was later elected to the U.S. Senate. 

From here.

While visiting some Yankees, Zebulon went into an outhouse to take a poop. But hey— a picture of Confederate general Robert E. Lee was hanging in there! (This was a dis, sort of like saying that Lee belonged in the toilet.)

Later, Zebulon was asked if he'd seen the bathroom portrait. He just smiled and said that having Lee's picture in the outhouse made sense: “If ever a man lived who could scare the poop out of the Yankees, that man was Robert E. Lee.”

Yeehaw!

Top image from Awful Library Books.