Your wedding day is a SPECIAL day...

...when you get to fling chicken carcasses around!

What a beautiful wedding dress— BLECH!

This is the only story about a wedding and skidmarks that I've ever read. It takes place in Scotland, where the groom (who was wearing a kilt without underwear) sat on his bride's lap.

Then things got interesting!

From here.

"Something old, something new, something soft and absorbent..."

What are these lovely wedding gowns doing on Ultra-Gross? They're made out of toilet paper! So if a blushing bride needed to wipe away her tears of joy (or anything else!), they'd come in handy.

This article by Monica Garske reveals that there's been a "toilet-paper wedding dress" contest every year since 2005. But although there've been some great designs —like the ones above by Ericka Andrade (left) and Bailey Bickford— nobody's actually been MARRIED in these gowns.

What a rip-off! I don't know how a bride feels, but every time I touch toilet paper, I feel a surge of courage throughout my body. (At least I think it's courage...)