Brains in a jar. Yum.

Over at Living Locurto is a cool DIY for your own edible brains in a jar.

It's sort of a cupcake thing ... like a medulla oblongata under glass.

I like!

This stuff is just offal.

"How many slices did you want?"

Over at NPR, they have a piece about the "variety meats" known as offal. (It's pronounced "awful", BTW.) 

Offal can take many forms: lamb kidneys, pig brains, cow faces, duck hearts, cow tongues, that sort of thing. The example above is terrine: "crunchy pig's ear encased in gelatin."

Like I said, it's pronounced "awful." Although I must add, if you're going to kill an animal, I guess it makes sense to eat every last bit of it. Even the testicles!)

Sit or Squat?

When you're out and about, it can be frustrating if you need to bust a grumpy but there's no bathrooms around. And that's where Sit or Squat comes in!

You just tell the website where you are, and it will show you what public restrooms are nearby. For kicks, I chose Sebastopol, California, as a location . . . and it looks like we need to crowd-source more restrooms for this website!

I mean, hospitals (like Palm Drive) are GREAT places to use restrooms (as long as you don't mind picking up germs the size of your fist), and Ives Park has restrooms too. Still, my hat is off to the good people at Sit or Squat.

It's important to stay hydrated, but come on.

Minnesota Viking fan releases bad gas.

See, the Minnesota Vikings are rivals with the Green Bay Packers, and the Packer fans call themselves Cheeseheads because they're in Wisconsin, so the Viking fan's chain saw is going to "cut the cheese" . . . oh, never mind. From SI.

Nick Clegg toilet seat cover?

Over at Amazon.co.uk, there is supposedly a toilet seat cover for sale with British politician Nick Clegg's face on it. This seems sort of mean, plus the photo looks fake, but I do sort of like this user review:

Upon delivery, my youngest child (Jerome) could barely contain his excitement at seeing our favourite . . . politician taking his new home next to our beloved cistern - I recall with great mirth how he even forced out an unecessary waste biscuit just to be the first one to touch Nick's face "on offishal bizness Daddy"... bless his little soul.

"Where do I want to pee?"

I like to urinate in a place that reflects my mood. If I feel rugged and outdoorsy, then I just pee in my backyard. But sometimes I'm in a refined, tasteful mood. And that's when I fly to the Stockholm-Arlanda Airport in Sweden.

But on other occasions, I'm in warrior-mode. And when I want to get medieval and "defend the castle", I visit the John Michael Kohler Arts Center in Sheboygen, Wisconsin!

Via Urinal.net.

Oh, you clever, clever fungus.

Imagine the smell of barf. Now add to it the smell of poop and a rotting squirrel. Got it? Multiply that malodorous scent by two and you’ll know what the basket stinkhorn smells like!

This fungus can be found at the base of trees in Europe. Like other fungi, the way the basket stinkhorn doesn’t use seeds to reproduce. It uses spores (like the dots on the bottom of a fern’s frond). And to spread its spores, stinkhorns need flies.

You see, flies are drawn to things like barf, poop, and rotting squirrels. So the flies smell the stinkhorn and land on it, looking for a snack. In fact, the flies crawl all over the stinkhorn. This may be why the stinkhorn grows in that weird mesh-like pattern; it makes it easy for bugs to get all up and over it.

Anyway, the fly will eventually give up and off in disgust. Of course, the fly is coated with spores by then, and these will help spread the stinkhorn! Well-played, basket stinkhorn, well-played. (Photo by spacepleb.)

We here at the Shy Bladder Institute welcome you!

Do you suffer from a shy bladder? Then welcome! We know, it's not easy suffering from this condition. When you to school or work, it would be nice if your bladder could socialize with the other bladders.

But rest assured that you're not alone! Seven people out of a hundred have bladders that avoid eye contact, blush easily, and speak in an inaudible whisper—

Wait, that's not the kind of shy bladder they mean? Never mind.

Now THOSE are extraordinary nostrils!

That's right, a new bat has extraordinary nostrils. How extraordinary are they? Judge for yourself!

Whoa. This bat is now named Walston's tube-nosed bat. That's because Joe Walston discovered the little critter.

This is Joe Walston. While I congratulate his good work, I must say that his nostrils are less extraordinary.

Don't go for a three-pointer without a mop!

This is from reddit, where some of the commenters had nice follow-throughs on their jump shots:

Public Enemy #2

The accused criminal. (From here.)

Over near Washington, D.C., a court case is underway that will test the roots of our very democracy.

Well, maybe it’s not THAT big of a deal, but still.

Months ago, Kimberly Zakrzewski was walking a friend’s dog named Baxter. The little dog allegedly pooped near some apartments and then Zakrzewski didn’t pick it up! A witness named Virginia Cornell called the police. And she took pictures of Baxter’s alleged poop.

Ah, but WAS it Baxter’s grumpy? Zakrzewski  denied the charges, and said the dog poop in question couldn’t be Baxter’s — it was “the wrong size and consistency.”

Wow.

Of course, a good CSI team could settle all this. Seriously! A company named PooPrints collects DNA samples from pooch poop. Using technology, they can ID a dog from its own voodoo butter!

Anyway, the trial of Baxter’s dog poop is underway RIGHT NOW. And a Washington Post reporter named Justin Jouvenal is live-tweeting the trial. (Photo from the Washington Post.)

Old School Laxatives!

Up until about 1750, people who were "plugged up" drank Castor oil. That was the name of a liquid laxative that was extracted from the glands of a beaver (or Castor, in Latin).

So my question is this: 

Whose idea was it to drink liquids extracted from the glands of a beaver?!

(BTW, after the mid-1700s, it was discovered that the same laxative effect could be got from the oil produced by the seeds of Ricinus communis, which became known as the castor oil plant. Oh, and that photo is by Paul Stevenson.)

Who wants to dive in buffalo poop? Step right up!

A radio station held a contest last week where folks could win free Buffalo Bills tickets. The catch was the tickets were in canisters that were buried underneath buffalo poop. So people wearing gloves, goggles, and surgical masks dug through the buffalo poop to get it.
Bonus: the announcer blew chunks!

Warning: This is gross.

I scream for bloody ice cream! (No, really.)

From here.

Hey, check out this Italian dessert called torta di sanguinaccio ("bleeding cake"): It’s made with fresh figs, crème anglaise, and a custard that’s made from a mix of dark chocolate and blood.

It is an example of a new trend in desserts: blood. This article from the Globe and Mail ("You eat meat, so why not blood?") gives the rundown on bloody meals. It points out that blood is a common ingredient outside of North America.

A chef named Brandon Olsen says, “I enjoy blood. I think blood is a great vessel for culinary expression. When I look at The Learning Channel, at all those surgery shows, that’s when I get squeamish. But working with animals, no.”

One chef even argues that if you’re going to kill an animal, using its blood is “the responsible thing to do.” Yeah! So for Halloween I might try some chocolate blood ice cream. One chef says that it’s “a rich, chocolate-tasting ice cream that is delicious and good for you.”

A Gross Gas Mystery, Solved!

An individual known only as Mr. Kite has solved a long-standing mystery. Here ’tis!

I'd long wondered why, as a human, Mrs Kite can produce loud, ripping botty burps [gas], but dogs just produce a face-melting stink with minimal noise. 

Then one day it came to me; buttocks! Dogs have no buttocks to be parted and slapped back together when the gas escapes, whereas humans do! 

Disgusting Things in Jars Are Yummy

This is one of the finest DIYs ever! If you head over to EvilMadScientist, there's instructions on making grotesque and disgusting specimen jars that you can open up and eat! (This freaks people out, natch.)

For example, see the jar in the bottom right corner above that says "Unknown parasite no. 4"? It starts with bamboo shoots!

Then you get a jar . . .

 . . . and now go read the post!

I can be a real coccydynia!

Heheh. Did you know that coccydynia means “pain in the butt” or “buttache”? (This site is so educational!)

I visited a friend named S. in the hospital yesterday who was going to get his bone marrow sampled. To do this, the doctors bore into the hip bone in S.’s butt. (It’s not as bad as it sounds.) Since the doctors had trouble boring through that bone, S. said:

“I guess that proves that I’m a hard-ass.”

Good one!

BTW, other words for a pain in the butt include rectalgia, proctalgia, and proctodynia. Want to say someone has a hairy butt? Go with dasypygal. Or an ugly butt? That’d be cacopygian. 

Hold Everything!

Science Insider

You're telling me that YESTERDAY was Hagfish Day . . . and nobody told me?

You are in BIG trouble.

Democrats. Republicans. Independent Party-ers. Everybody Poops.

This politically poopy design is available as a T-shirt from Threadless Tees.

And they even have it as a baby's onesy, which makes sense!

Did I ever tell you about the time we ran out of toilet paper?

Bigfoot, big gas

Sheesh, two ads in a row! Although this is unheard of, I had to make an exception for this Jack Link commercial featuring Sasquatch. The whole ad series is good, and this one is GREAT.

"Poop! There it is!"

This diaper commercial features babies pooping in front of a cheering crowd. At the end, they soak up the applause while their diapers somehow soak up their massive amounts of voodoo butter. (I'm not sure if I like this ad or hate it!)

Toilet Seat Emergencies

A UK man got stuck a toilet seat stuck around his body and had to go to a fire station to get it taken off. (He did it as a prank.) But the best part of this story was the quote from a fireman named Michael Burden said:

“He looked rather flushed when he arrived but [was] relieved when we managed to get the toilet seat off him.”

Good one!

Paula Deen sells butter-flavored lip balm.

That is all. (Photo from here.)

Ever wonder what a hedgehog tastes like?

Daily Mail

There’s no easy way to say this: A guy named Jonathan McGowan has been eating roadkill for the past 30 years.

When I say roadkill, I mean mice, moles, hedgehogs, squirrels, rats, foxes, badgers, hares, rabbits, deer, stoats, weasels, polecats, otters, wildcats, pheasants, finches, ducks, geese, pigeons, owls, crows, and so forth.

In this article, Jonathan describes the flavors of some of the animals he's dined on:

• Foxes – Delicious . . . It is a lean meat and there is never any fat. Young foxes . . . taste slightly like chicken.
• Mice - They taste weird - there is no other food quite like them. They aren't particularly nice and have a very bitter flavor. They are of course so small that they are almost worthless.
• Rats - They are most delicious . . . They are quite like pork but quite salty. They are delicious and the meat is great on its own.
• Moles – They are horrible and have a rancid taste. They have an unpleasant taste in their skin to ward off predators. Wild animals don't eat them. I've only had one once and never again.
• Hedgehogs - When you get in it's all fatty meat. It's not nice but okay if you like eating fatty foods.
• Squirrels - They are most delicious. They provide a good firm white meat which is quite similar to rabbit but not as overpowering. Not many animals taste like what they eat but squirrels do have a nutty flavour. It's fantastic stuff.

You may be wondering what Jonathan does for a living. He’s a taxidermist. Surprised? Me neither. But even so, WHY does this man do this? His answer actually makes sense. To find out what he says, go to this Daily Mail article!

Whoa!

This humpback anglerfish made me burp up some oatmeal just now. (From Mark Laita's amazing book, Sea.)

Global Interest in Saddam Hussein’s Butt

From the National Post

In 2003, a British soldier named Nigel “Spud” Ely was serving in Iraq. He was there when the famous statue of Saddam Hussein was pulled down. And with the help of another soldier with a crowbar and sledgehammer, he pried off one-half of the statue’s butt.

Ely snuck the butt out of Iraq by claiming it was military vehicle armor. Now he’s putting the bronze butt cheek up for auction, with proceeds to help other veterans. Anyway, this has caused a frenzy of headlines in bad taste (e.g., "You could own a piece of Saddam Hussein's butt" or this post's title). Here's more! 

• Saddam’s bronze butt is now up for grabs
• Bum deal for Iraq souvenir hunters
• Soldier offers cheeky deal
• War relic is prized ass-et
• Cashing a cheek: Soldier sees bottom line in Saddam’s ass 

Update: Saddam's butt didn't sell!

"La Porta Verda"

I was in the Italian countryside a few years ago and I REALLY had to pee. But I was out in the countryside, so what to do?

Luckily, a guy named Edo told me just to use la porta verda. (This translates to "the green door.")

"Where's the green door?" I asked.

Edo just pointed at the forest.

A-ha!

It's Naked Mole Rat Friday!

Which gives me a cheap excuse to use this picture! 

Oh, and here's an interesting naked mole rat story from NPR. (Photo from Wikimedia Commons.)

Stop wiping your bum with your cell phone!

By Wonderlane

Sheesh, I just read an article that says many cell phones are covered in poop germs. 

In the study, one-in-six phones had E. coli smeared on them. That’s one of the worst butt germs there is…it could KILL you!

And as far as I can see, there’s only one way so much voodoo butter could have gotten there: People are wiping themselves with their cell phones.

Okay, there IS one other possibility: If people didn’t wash their hands after busting grumpies, and then they talked on their phones, that could do it. But surely every single person in the world uses soap and water after wiping the whale eye, right? Right?*

*Wrong.

"Wizards of Ooze"! Porta-Potty names can be droll!

Check out the business names of these portable toilet companies. (You can guess my favorite!)

Plop-Jon Inc., Port Saint Lucie, Fla.

Royal Throne, Washington, D.C.

Tee Pee Inc., Roseville, Mich.

Wizards of Ooze, Anacortes, Wash.

Oui Oui Enterprises Ltd., Chicago

Willy Make It? Oregon City, Oregon

Doodie Calls, New Orleans

Here’s what I want my toilet to have:

A foot warmer, heated seat, bidet, and music system, all controlled by a touchscreen remote. Hey, what’s this? Something called a Kohler Numi Bidet Toilet…

Actually, I do want ONE more thing: How about a toilet that’s not in the middle of a glass room? Hel-LO? Privacy much? (I don’t want anyone to see me warming my feet!)

"Happiness is like peeing your pants"?

Ah, now I get it. (Inspired by the previous post!)

"Who wants to go for a piggyback ride?"

"Oh, good grief."

Happy Halloween!

This scarecrow is doing what's known as "hanging a b.p." — hanging a bare pumpkin!

"Do Not Pee AND..."

And also, please do not use scissors to cut eggs.

How many times do I have to tell you?

Here's looking at you . . . I mean ME . . . Wait—

A Japanese company will make a mask for you OF you. This will prove useful for times when you want to go out in public and you want to be recognized.

Wait, I STILL don't get it!

I can't imagine any circumstances where this would be necessary.

Wait, I just imagined one!
Gross.

Vegetable Zombies!

Our doorbell rang late last night. But when I opened the door, all I found were these vegetable zombies!

At first I was scared, but then I started admiring the handiwork. Man, look at the guts coming out of the little zombie on the left! And the face on the big zombie is awesome.

Too bad zombies can't spell. :)

So we went out to breakfast this morning...

...and I took the newspaper with me to the restroom. After all, I wanted to read something while I took care of business.

When I got back to our booth, my wife gave me a look. But what'd I do?

"That book! It's horrible!"

By Nightmares Fear Factory.

Okay, okay, these folks are more horrified than disgusted. But since Halloween is coming, I thought I'd allow it. 

Plus, I've been enjoying looking at pictures of people FREAKING OUT at The Nightmares Fear Factory. It's a haunted house, and— well, just go look at their pictures! (Via.)

Go wee, wee, wee all the way home!

If you find yourself in Holland, ride a train and keep an eye out for a “wee bag.” That’s what they call  the emergency plastic bags that passengers can urinate in if they need to.

The problem to this point has been that Dutch commuter trains don’t have toilets. And even though the trains usually stop every ten minutes or so at different stations, what if there’s a mechanical failure?

There’s only one problem: People are too chicken to use the wee bags!

“Are you serious?” said one passenger.
“No, no way, I just can't see myself ‘going’ in that. For a man it may be easier, for a woman that's just impossible.”

Story from the BBC.