Problem Solving with Dog Poop!

Sprinkle Brigade

When I walk our dog, Ruby, (twice a day!), she usually poops. Then I pick UP the poop.

Isn't that amazing?

This isn’t usually a problem. But sometimes Ruby will poop out what I call a “soft-serve.” This is not quite diarrhea, but it’s not a solid grumpy, either.

When Ruby poops soft-serve style, she ALWAYS does it in long grass. And if that grass is in someone’s lawn, I practically have to wipe down every blade of the grass to get all the dog poop off of it.

The worst thing is watching Ruby soft-serve into long grass and then realizing that I forgot to bring poop bags. IDIOT! Then I do a pantomime of checking all of my pockets for a bag (“Gee, they’re usually here!”). Next, I shake my head, point at the poop and loudly announce, “I’m coming back for this!”

I don’t know if anyone has ever watched me do this, but I’d rather go through all of that then have someone think I was stupid (for not having a bag) AND a jerk (for not cleaning it up).

Anyway, then I walk home, get a couple of bags, and walk or ride my bike back to the scene of the crime to get the soft-serve.

It magically disappeared!

But the last time I did this, by the time I got to Ruby’s poop, IT WAS GONE.

How’s that for a mystery? (My theory: The Poop Fairy took it!)

Addition: Some people will try to pick up their dog poop with any available object. My friend Richard will pour out his coffee and scoop it up with his coffee cup. Yeah.

And Gene Weingarten writes:

“[I] often use a leaf, which is seldom quite broad enough for the task, which is why I am often seen in my neighborhood hurrying my dog home, with an unpleasant look on my face and one arm held stiffly out in front of me, like a zombie trolling for brains.”