This man had a toy stuck up his nose for . . . oh, I'll let him tell you the story.

Who wants to make Poo Dough? It's fake poop!

Because I don't. (Via.)

Me too!

Via.

I poop jewels

Objet d'fart!

This is a farting coin bank. You're welcome!

This baby comes to an awful realization.

"This seems to be a gigantic blue caterpillar . . . ICK!"

Stretch (and retch?) Armstrong

Back in the 1970s, Stretch Armstrong was an action figure that could be contorted into various shapes. Stretching Stretch was fun enough, but he would always get a tear and start leaking some weird, scary goop.

But I just learned from a book titled Whatever Happened to Pudding Pops? that the goo was actually corn syrup. Yep, the same sweet stuff that's in soft drinks! The authors state:

Most kids quickly figured out that a bleeding Stretch Armstrong was a delicious Stretch Armstrong. And if you claim never to have tasted Stretch's sweet, syrupy middle, then you, sir, are a liar.

What?! How DARE you! I never sucked my action figures. So there!

Top ad from PlaidStallions.com.

Do you know what time it is?

It's poopy-time!

Specifically, it's Poopy-Time Fun Shapes time . . . which doesn't really make sense. But I don't care, because it's about to get Poopy!

I guess there's only one more question to ask: What will your kids poop up?

(Okay, I lied, there is ONE more question: Why does this ad show the astounded girl as far more colossal than the oh-so pleased boy?)

Mounted Stuffed Animal Heads?

Wait a minute. Mounting a dead animal's head is definitely gross. But when that happens, the dead animal's head is stuffed first.

So what about these? Are they stuffed stuffed-animal heads? If you're in San Francisco or Portland, swing by one of the cool Paxton Gate stores to decide for yourself!

Photo by Scott Beale/Laughing Squid.

Who likes stuffed animals?

You do? Then you should get a giant, stuffed shark!

And this "ChumBuddy" can double as a sleeping bag!

Wait— that's HORRIBLE!

As seen at Patch Together (via).

All I Want for Christmas is a Toy Dog That Poops

This is a German ad for a toy dog (Kackel Dackel) that eats biscuits and then poops. It's so cool, I'm speechless. Wunderbar!

The idea is that as you roll the dice, the food you feed Kackel Dackel works its way through his digestive system. And if you can get it to come all the way out, you collect that yellow poop as proof of your winning.

As far as I can tell, Kackel Dackel is only available in Germany for the moment...for example, at Amazon.de. Time to buy a plane ticket!

Santa Claus is coming to town! Then he's going to poop.

Here's a toy Santa Claus. He poops candy. Why would you want this? I just TOLD you: He’s a little Santa who poops candy! Here’s how the company that sells him describes it:

With this hilarious Pooping Santa Candy Dispenser, you can help him deliver a load of holiday cheer - just push on his back to release the red and green surprise! 

What would it be like to poop candy? Well, you could eat your poop without being criticized. Also, other people would suddenly be VERY interested in your poop.

—"Tell me when you're going to bust some of those delicious grumpies!"

—"No way, he got to eat your poop last time. It's MY turn!"

—"Hey, where are you going? Don't pretend you're just going to blow your nose. You're going to poop, aren't you?"

Hmm, now that I think about it, this wouldn't be so great. If you pooped candy, all you'd want is some privacy!

Who ran over my stuffed bunny-rabbit?

As an animal lover, I don’t like the IDEA of stuffed roadkill animals. But I have to admit that Adam Arber, the designer of toys like Grind the Rabbit (above), Twitch the Racoon, and Splodge the Hedgehog, did a pretty good job!

Also, since these are stuffed animals, their squished guts are soft and fuzzy. That’s better than the real thing! (BTW, these guts can be packed away inside for a less gruesome experience.)

My Spidey-Sense is tingling—

—and it's telling me that something is wrong!

This junior Spiderman ("Spiderboy"?) sitting on a toilet and reading a book seems okay...


...and there's no problem with this Spiderman toilet seat...

But it looks like someone's trying to muscle in on the Spiderman toilet paper!

"Hulk smash...and wipe!"

"A cranial-nerve skull? It's just what I wanted!"

I'm going to be in Chicago for a few days. Until my return, let me share with you these cool pictures taken by Mark Frauenfelder of BoingBoing.

He took his family on a shopping trip to Harajuku, a kooky shopping district in Tokyo. That's where the Kiddy Land store has a special section devoted to toys and models that show an educational (and disgusting!) amount of anatomy. (And I love is the Kiddy Land motto: "For the human smile.")

Presents for That Special Someone

Need a few gift ideas for your holiday list? Ultra-Gross! has you covered! First up is a hand-crafted statue of a gnome picking his nose. As his website says, “He has a bit of plumbers crack, and is digging quite heartily into his nostril.”

Gee, who wouldn’t want one?

Addition: Apparently, there's a good reason NOT to get garden gnomes. They're a fire hazard!

For little kids, consider this toy truck that poops dominoes behind it… it’s just like those REAL trucks that poop dominoes! (Wait, why is this truck pooping dominoes? Oh, never mind!)

Finally, you could make a custom sign like this one and place it next to your friend’s computer. Laughter will ensue! Like my dad always said that it’s all fun and games… until someone gets electrocuted. (Then it's more fun and games!)

You Don't Hate Hello Kitty's Guts

It's impossible to dislike Hello Kitty's guts... after all, every one of her internal organs has a little bow on it. I've never seen such a pretty pancreas! (This Halloween edition of Hello Kitty! spotted over here.)