Deep Questions

Over at Slate, the Explainer is the person in charge of answering reader questions. But there are some questions even the Explainer can't deal with, like this one:

I’m a tall guy. So when I pee, sometimes there’s a splash that exceeds the height of the bowl and lands on the floor. What is it that splashes? Is it water from the toilet or is it pee? I’m guessing it’s water from the toilet because the momentum of the pee takes it down and for it to splash out would defy the physics of liquids.

A Charming Family Tale

It was a family Christmas gathering, and my Dad loudly passed gas. This got a giggle from the kids, until Dad turned to me and calmly asked:

"Should farts have lumps?"

(Thanks, Orin!)

A book brave enough to pose the BIG QUESTION.

"What's inside of me?"




Click "read more" to learn the fascinating answer!

Deep Questions

When I got tired of making the bed, I used to ask, "Why do I have to make it when I'm just going to sleep in it again?"

Then my wife pointed out, "Yeah! And why wipe your bum when you're just going to have to poop again?"

Now I just make the bed.

Old School Laxatives!

Up until about 1750, people who were "plugged up" drank Castor oil. That was the name of a liquid laxative that was extracted from the glands of a beaver (or Castor, in Latin).

So my question is this: 

Whose idea was it to drink liquids extracted from the glands of a beaver?!

(BTW, after the mid-1700s, it was discovered that the same laxative effect could be got from the oil produced by the seeds of Ricinus communis, which became known as the castor oil plant. Oh, and that photo is by Paul Stevenson.)

"Paging Donner, dinner party of 32..."

Yes.

Eating humans IS wrong. The meat is stringy and tough! 

Also, my brother-in-law says that if you ate a person, “you would digest human fat which usually only happens when you are starving and digesting your OWN fat. So, your body thinks you are starving, which makes you more ravenous for MORE human meat!”

I haven’t read Allan C. Hutchinson's book Is Eating People Wrong?, but I think the title refers to the Case of the Speluncean Explorers. Read all about it! (And thanks to Eavan Shaw and Andrew Simon for the assists.)

Kurt Vonnegut explains why we are here!

Kurt Vonnegut was one of the finest writers of the 20th century.

One thing that Vonnegut enjoyed was doodling and drawing in notebooks. And hey, here's an example of what I mean!

Another Gross Mystery!

Let’s say that you just peed. Man, you had to go bad! And now that you're done, you’re proud of yourself in a way you could never admit to anyone else.

By Marcin Krzyzanowski

After all, look at all that PEE. You sure can hold it!

Then you go into the kitchen. You figure you should probably drink something since you just flushed your body of every last drop of fluid.

Raising a glass of water to your lips, you mentally pat yourself on the back again. When it comes to “making the bladder gladder”, you’re the champ! (More pee sayings here.)

Then you sip some water. COLD water. And the impossible happens! Can it be? You feel the urge to pee AGAIN … even though you couldn’t have more than a drop in your bladder.

Now I ask you, how is THAT possible? I guess it’s just another gross mystery!

A Gross Mystery!

Let’s say that you have to poop. But you can’t! Maybe you’re on the school bus or in one of those pesky classes that you are forced to go to.

So you hold it!

But of course, you’ve made plans to TAKE  a poop. Maybe you’re going to wait until you get home. Or maybe you’re going to use the school’s restroom. 

Either way, have you ever noticed that as you walk (or run!) to the toilet, the urge to poop gets stronger and stronger?

But the poop is inside of your butt. How does it know that you’re getting closer to a toilet? It’s not like it has eyes or anything.

Oh well. I guess it’s just a gross mystery!

Photo by Zomerfeld.

Gross Question of the Day!

Over at Slate.com, they have a feature called the Explainer. And each year, the Explainer receives questions that it can't (or won't!) answer. Here's my favorite from 2010:

By qmnonic

Why don't airplane bathrooms have windows? I've always thought it would be nice to gaze off into the wild blue yonder while relieving myself at 30,000 feet. It wouldn't be a privacy risk, because there are no peeping toms to catch a glimpse of you at that height. 

Good question! (Too bad there's no answer.)

"I think my butt has a problem"? Now THAT'S a doozy!

Over at Yahoo Answers!, visitors ask questions. Then OTHER visitors answer them. So Yahoo doesn't really answer anything...what a rip-off!

Anyway, this question raised my eyebrows. (And no, I'm not going to answer it!)

Ask a Gross Question, Get a Gross Answer!

An Ultra-Gross reader asks: "When I eat corn on the cob, I see it in my poop the next day. Why don’t some foods get digested at all?"

Dr. Grossness says: Don’t be alarmed! Your body has trouble breaking down certain substances like corn, vegetable and fruit skins, and tin cans. So if you see some corn, tomato skins, or even peanuts in your poop, no worries!

However, if you ever see an entire cantaloupe reappear in your grumpy, please consult your doctor.

Do YOU have a gross question? Send it in to kingbart@comcast.net. If you're lucky, we'll ignore it for weeks and then delete it. (And if you're unlucky, we'll answer it!)

Graphic from Cafe Press.

"Yahoo Answers" a Gross Question!

When I was a kid, I was often told there are no stupid questions. But maybe that's not true! After all, I was just at Yahoo Answers. This is a place where people ask questions that can be a little...well, you be the judge!

Actually, you know what? This is a GOOD question! How many calories would a booger have? 

The inside of your nose is coated with moisture, salt, and a sticky protein called mucin. Together, these form the mucus that traps nasty things like dust and germs that you breathe. So a booger is made of water, salt, mucin, and dirt. Sounds like diet food to me! 


Ooh, I found another really good question from Yahoo Answers!

Deep Thought for the Day

Has anyone ever hiccuped, coughed, sneezed, barfed, peed, and pooped all at the same time?

(If so, I'd like to meet him!)