June 3, 2011

What does poop taste like?

I didn't know what poop tastes like, and I don't really WANT to know, either. But a guy named Gibbletwunt has told me, so now, I'll share his inspiring story with you:
When I was seven, my dad uncovered our family’s sewage system. There was some kind of blockage somewhere, so part of our backyard had an open channel full of poop and pee leading to the now uncovered septic tank, which was obviously also full of poop and pee.
My mates would occasionally come to my house for an A-Team episode re-enactment (it was 1987!). During one of these, I outran the bad guys and performed an impressive army-roll. Then I plunged head-first into the septic tank.
Your first instinct when you fall into water, or as in this instance, poopy pee-ey turd jam, is to breathe IN. Deeply. Which I did. I must have swallowed about three grumpies and was almost drowning in my own family's effluent when I was fished out by my dad. 
So today, I have a vivid memory of what poo tastes like. I can assure you that it's not pleasant. It doesn't really taste like chicken. It's slightly alkaline and has chunks in it.

12 comments:

  1. Who would eat poo anyway that's just weried i would eat it if I were you you will just be sock and you will be ill take my advice DON'T EAT IT!.....

    ReplyDelete
  2. yeah um i feel a little bad fr you. :( youll never forget that taste will you

    ReplyDelete
  3. You mean HE will never forget the taste...and no, I don't guess he will!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wonder what his dad thought when he first saw his child flailing around in the septic tank xD But really this kid is lucky to be alive.. septic tanks harbor so many deadly germs, viruses, fungi and parasites. He is lucky he didn't get super ill or end up with something worse lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. chunks. just let that sink in.

    ReplyDelete
  6. No Its Not Its Sweet!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Friend "What Did u have for breakfast Johny?"
    Johny "oh nothing important "
    Friend " well I'm taking this survey and I kinda have to know. .."
    Johny "OK FINE I ATE POOP! "
    Friend "omg what? ?!!?? Is that why it smells so bad"
    Johny " long story! !"
    Friend "I bet..."

    ReplyDelete

No bad words, thanks!