June 3, 2011

What does poop taste like?

I didn't know what poop tastes like, and I don't really WANT to know, either. But a guy named Gibbletwunt has told me, so now, I'll share his inspiring story with you:
When I was seven, my dad uncovered our family’s sewage system. There was some kind of blockage somewhere, so part of our backyard had an open channel full of poop and pee leading to the now uncovered septic tank, which was obviously also full of poop and pee.
My mates would occasionally come to my house for an A-Team episode re-enactment (it was 1987!). During one of these, I outran the bad guys and performed an impressive army-roll. Then I plunged head-first into the septic tank.
Your first instinct when you fall into water, or as in this instance, poopy pee-ey turd jam, is to breathe IN. Deeply. Which I did. I must have swallowed about three grumpies and was almost drowning in my own family's effluent when I was fished out by my dad. 
So today, I have a vivid memory of what poo tastes like. I can assure you that it's not pleasant. It doesn't really taste like chicken. It's slightly alkaline and has chunks in it.

19 comments:

  1. Who would eat poo anyway that's just weried i would eat it if I were you you will just be sock and you will be ill take my advice DON'T EAT IT!.....

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  2. yeah um i feel a little bad fr you. :( youll never forget that taste will you

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  3. You mean HE will never forget the taste...and no, I don't guess he will!

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  4. Wonder what his dad thought when he first saw his child flailing around in the septic tank xD But really this kid is lucky to be alive.. septic tanks harbor so many deadly germs, viruses, fungi and parasites. He is lucky he didn't get super ill or end up with something worse lol

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  5. chunks. just let that sink in.

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  6. No Its Not Its Sweet!

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  7. Friend "What Did u have for breakfast Johny?"
    Johny "oh nothing important "
    Friend " well I'm taking this survey and I kinda have to know. .."
    Johny "OK FINE I ATE POOP! "
    Friend "omg what? ?!!?? Is that why it smells so bad"
    Johny " long story! !"
    Friend "I bet..."

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  8. Well, poop from a septic tank or an outhouse is a putrid mix of fermented feces from several origins.

    However, single origin poop is exquisite when fresh.

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  9. Grumpies? I tasted some of my own, fresh as it was coming out, and it had no taste at all. Was just curious about it.

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  10. Okay, #1. This is freaking GROSS. #2 = Poop. #3 The Anonymous at 11:07 AM on June 17, 2016, GROSSS!!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!!

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  11. Huh, I randomly looked up how bad is it to eat your own poop because of the immature college student that I am and ended up reading a bunch of feedback from people who do it/have done it then I looked up what poop tastes like and that's why I'm on this page. I'm so curious, I think I might try it. This makes me wonder if I'm TOO curious, probably. You know what they say about curiosity killing the cat and all. But do you know what's even sadder than considering trying my own poop? The fact that I'm supposed to be doing my bio assignment right now but I'm looking up information about eating poop instead. Smh

    Message to the admin of this page: I'm sorry about my first submission. It's 3:31 AM so the "no bad words" didn't register. I'm re-uploading with a change in my word choice. Please don't disqualify

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No bad words, thanks!