January 6, 2010

Eating Spicy Food Makes Your Bum Burn!

Via.
I think you already knew this. (I know I did.) But in case we ever need evidence, now we have it:

Scientists did a study on poop. Specifically, they wanted to know if eating spicy food makes going poop a more— er... painful experience. You know, with burning?

So the scientists added chili powder to the food of a group of people. Then they observed the results. These can be summed up this way:

"Oh no... The pain! The fire! It burns!"

I'm glad we cleared that up.

There's no way you're going to want to read the actual study. Okay, if you insist, go over here. It's called "Red Hot Chilli Consumption Is Harmful in Patients... A Randomized, Double-Blind, Controlled Study." 

Another good name could be "Mean Scientists Make People Take Fiery Poops."

BONUS: Below are a judge's comments after scoring a chili-cooking contest. 
After eating: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my  forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. The other judges asked me to stop screaming. 
After pooping: I’ve lost sight in one eye. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. My intestines are now filled with sulfuric flames. Can’t feel my butt anymore. I need to wipe my backside with a  snow cone.

211 comments:

  1. An anonymous commenter also wrote:
    "the burn caused from habanero peppers is insane!!! I thought the toilet paper was going to catch on fire as I was wiping... Just jump in the shower and [cool off] with water!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Another commenter added, "I can't imagine what ghost peppers would be like, omg"

      Delete
    2. lmao after takis, its aweful

      Delete
    3. Bart king - I did it today - A Ghost chili, I was 20 minutes of PURE PAIN IN MY ASS

      Delete
    4. I've been growing ghost peppers for a few years and am adding trinidad moruga scorpions to the mix this year. When heavily added to a recipe (chili, hot sauce, etc.) it will take your poops to a whole new level of pain. After about 24 hours and a bit of bloody toilet paper, it generally subsides.

      Delete
    5. Poopin hatch chili verde for the third day in a row. Worth it!

      Delete
    6. Drink some milk with spicy food and you won't have any "toilet issues".

      Delete
  2. Yup. An evening meal of spicy buffalo wings, chilli tacos and everything else laden with the spicy spice will definitely lead to, > 24 hours later, a horrid case of "IT'S ON FIIIIIIIRE! THIS IS THE WORST PAIN EVER!!!! DX WAAAAAH!"

    Enough said.

    ReplyDelete
  3. had no idea until this morning, which prompted me to do a google search and land on this. that was some great jerk chicken last night, but man oh man i am suffering today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes! i ate super spicy veggie-dogs for dinner last night and then today had the most awful spicy burning turd. i don't eat a lot of spicy food so i am unaccustomed to the next day's burn, so i Googled this phenomenon.

      Delete
    2. Never eating Popeyes Spicy chicken again, only thing that does this to me

      Delete
    3. Burritos drenched in hot sauce while drunk. Kill me now... Lmao.

      Delete
    4. Same here. Never Again will I eat KFC Nashville Hot Chicken. Feels like a hovering flame on my ringpiece

      Delete
  4. similar to anon... i made myself 2 meals of spicy chicken goujons with chilli ketchup in a wrap and ive been in agony down there for 2 visits now. never had it this bad before!

    ReplyDelete
  5. My bum burns as we speak!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. same, I cooled it off in the shower and my bum is numb. i honestly cant feel it.

      Delete
    2. You must poop it all out. Then, you'll be in peace.

      Delete
  6. Searched and found this as im currently on the toilet in agony!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm on the toilet as we speak burning so bad! Spicy jambalaya and suicide hot wings last night, oh boy!

      Delete
    2. call 911!!!!!!!

      Delete
    3. Just found this, googling mid-dump. My bathroom is a murder scene. I'm purchasing a new toilet seat in the morning. I had a spice-rubbed burger today and now.... I'm ashamed.

      Delete
    4. I just left the toilet and still feel like I have some unfinished business. I can still feel it brewing in there and I'm about due to go back.

      Delete
    5. SAME, AHHHHGGGGGGG

      Delete
    6. Oh gosh, spicy pork korean bbq why...I thought we had a good thing going ;_;

      Delete
    7. Same. 2 years from your post, I sit in agony upon the throne. Why must our food hate us so?

      Delete
    8. Habanaro turkey sandwich. Why why Whyyyyyyyyyyy did I keep eating it after my tongue fell off D:

      Delete
    9. Same! BBQ pizza with all the hot stuff apparently was the golden tickets for this wonderful experience, maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

      Delete
    10. Oh man, ghost pepper burrito. I've had these painful experiences lots of times because I eat spicy a lot, but not like this !!! Aaaah!!!!

      Delete
    11. On the toilet as well as a side effect from a Chipotle burrito!

      Delete
    12. The burnnnnnn! Also had this happen to me for the first time and googled it to find out what was going on! Never again!! Still on the toliet and prob not moving for awhile!!

      Delete
    13. Yes I to had to look this up mid push as I sat on the toilet birthing a baby dragon due to this damn habanaro sauce. I've had it bad before but NEVER LIKE THIS! It was the tail end (lol) of the poo session that was the worst, ALL HABANARO sauce

      Delete
    14. Another mid pusher. Two spicy chicken sandwiches from Chik Fil A earlier. It just burns so bad. The sad part is this happens all the time. I keep telling myself no more spicy food, but literally, here I sit. #FML

      Delete
    15. Oh Jesus! I think I'm dying!

      Delete
    16. A small bag of Ruffles: Mega Hot Wings Chips and few hours of sleep later and here we are. At least you guys had some warning! My room's the basement, so I had to run up two flights of steps at 5am!

      Delete
    17. I had to pause before I let another one go. The pain... this isn't right man. This isn't right.

      Delete
    18. It's 2015 and I'm another mid pusher.been up since 4 am I've lost all hope. I used to love taking a dump. It seems like life will never be the same again.

      Delete
  7. I'm glad I could help accentuate— er, ALLEVIATE the pain. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ok..I was worried...glad i'm not sick 0_o this never happens to me before lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Haha never eating spicy food again to say the least!! My bellys like cramping as I sit here to though? Is that normal?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes i just had the same problem about 5-10 minutes ago! I wanted to bust out in tears! I love hot wings but i feel sick and get really bad cramps hours later!

      Delete
    2. Yes! It is normal to get bad cramps after eating super spicy foods! I absolutley love spicy foods but i feel awful hours later! The same thing happemed to me about 12 minutes ago!

      Delete
  10. MY ASS IS ON FIRE RIGHT NOW!

    ReplyDelete
  11. It hurts so bad... Never eating spicy food again. I've been on the can 30% of the day and burns so bad. Holy morher of spicy burning sensations.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I ate eggs with pepers last night and my.butt is burning like hell and im constipated. Ohhh the pain. Just put me down now

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well I might as well post too. I'm sitting on the toilet pooping out some ghost chile wings and boy does it burn.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hahaha lol I googled this and as I speak I'm sitting on the toilet & my butt is engulfed in flames!! THE PAIN!!! I ate a spicy kebab earlier.. Seemed like a great idea at the time but my lord am I paying for it now!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes , happened for the first time ,while I was preparing breakfast for my family,that also right after a bath.it seemed my bum was on fire,I also had a spicy chiness meal last night.Been farting like there is no tomorrow

      Delete
    2. Me and my husband just did a ghost pepper challenge and Omg the pain in my stomach is so bad and just to go to the bathroom I can cry because the pain and it feels like my bum is on fire . Never again will I eat ghost peppers

      Delete
  15. I think it's official: This is the blog's most-commented upon post. (And I couldn't be prouder!)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Ghost peppers hurts so bad I can't even describe it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are no words to describe it. Had some ghost pepper wings last night so I go to the bathroom this morning and I'm like "wow...my poop is really warm this morn.............HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!!!!! DAHHHHHHHHHNHH!!!!!!"

      Delete
  17. Mother of all that is holy, for the past few days I have been taking a shot of cayenne pepper with lemon juice, maple syrup, and water to aid digestion and blood flow (weight loss), and today I took in a heaping teaspoon
    My butthole is equivalent to the fiery entrance to hell
    Also, it came flowing out of me like lava (bridesmaids reference) but seriously...

    ReplyDelete
  18. 100% true Indian food will do it to ya on the toilet now baby wipes provide relief

    ReplyDelete
  19. LOL as i'm reading this on my laptop, I'm taking a fiery, burning poop.

    ReplyDelete
  20. My butt is on fire and and it won't stop coming! I'm destroying my toilet as I post this!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Reading this while my butthole is in fire from this spicy church's chicken

    ReplyDelete
  22. Voodoo wings have blessed me with a burning ring of fire

    ReplyDelete
  23. I am punishing the toilet as we speak

    ReplyDelete
  24. Atomic wing sauce burns twice as much going out than in. Aaaahhhhhh!!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Im brutalizing the toliet right now :c
    I feel better now that ive read Im not the only with fire buns....

    ReplyDelete
  26. An extremely spicy burrito brought me here, first time I ever felt this ,ughhh! It really does burn lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just took an anti-allergy. Fexigra-120 it works really .just try as I am relived of the burning bum after taking it

      Delete
  27. Though I have been here before, I assure you that this is the worst trip yet. I'm pretty sure my colon has joined a freak religious order and taken vows of self-inflicted agony. The worst part is that it is taking forever since my colon is too scared to just rip the band-aid and get this over with... Oh no, at our house, we take our sweet time and relish in every agonizing second of last night's poor culinary choices.

    ReplyDelete
  28. HABANERO,GHOST PEPPER, PIZZA, AND BEER TORE ME A NEW ONE I HAVE TO SIT SIDEWAYS ON THE JOHN AND I MELTED THE LITTLE BLUE PILL THAT GOES IN THE TOILET I HATE MYSELF RIGHT NOW!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. For all you guys reading this on your laptop while taking a hot steamy one , i hope you wash your hands. LOL,

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh my hot fiery anus and surrounding scorched ass! Seriously have eaten a Crap load of spicy food in the past and only once can I remember my bum burning and it was from eating an entire bag of flaming hot cheetohs. I had a spicy Italian sub from subway today for lunch, had them add pepperoncinos. Didn't think it was that spicy, then ate a hot link sandwich for dinner tonight. 15 minutes later I am on the toilet shooting liquid lava out my ass. The pain is excruciating! What the hell? It hasn't stopped burning. I've gone twice and refuse to go again cause I just can't bare it. Seriously having trouble walking normal or sitting. 5 more hours before I get off work. Aaaaaaagh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At work myself with the same problem, why di I ever take a sit down desk job. I want to cry

      Delete
  31. I ate a burrito with lots of chili in the morning in the after noon at some blazing hot wings and at night I ate mexican spicy food I woke up today rushed to the bathroom and now I'm part of this "on the can burning" club haha

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hahahahahaha omg! Im also now part of this club... usually one who can eat hot food regularly no problems last night had suicide hot wings and today everytime Ive had to go its been the burning ring of fire as previously put! Never again, will stick to what I know works with me -_-

    ReplyDelete
  33. thank god you put this post up!!!!! i used Desitin! helped a lot!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Thank you, at least now I know I'm not the only one!

    ReplyDelete
  35. If i funnel milk into my bum will the burning stop? But more importntly, will i still respect myself?

    ReplyDelete
  36. ate some insane zaxbys wings last night this morning my stomach was hurting and my bum was on fire

    ReplyDelete
  37. Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce... The Bhut Jolokia... Hottest Natural Pepper in the WORLD. 8~| Never again.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I was about to call an ambulance. The pain and fire was enormously unbearable! I have never experienced such pain in my life due to spices and hence i came to this page

    ReplyDelete
  39. Looks like I am now a part of the "on the toilet sh*tting lava club" ordered MILD thai food today, but suffered through eating whatever their exact OPPOSITE version of mild is... I thought the worst part was over as I suffered through the last bite.

    Now I sit humbled by the Thai dragon leaving my colon

    ReplyDelete
  40. In a weird coincidence, "Now I sit humbled by the Thai dragon leaving my colon" is the name of my band!

    ReplyDelete
  41. i kinda like the feel lol

    ReplyDelete
  42. 2 spicy McChickens later and here I am...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. every time I eat one of those it's always the same story the next day

      Delete
  43. Wing dome 7 deadly wing chalange. Made it half way before i had to stop. Spent the next 10S hours doubled over feeling the fire travel through my body. So much fire it even burns to pee. I've spent enough time on the throne to read every post here and the flow of lava continues.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Popeye's chicken strips with about 25 packets of "Lose-yo-anus" hot sauce. I ate about an hour and a half ago, then went for a bike ride with my kids. In AGONY now. "Now, that's Louisiana FAST!". ( I had to try to see SOME humor in it ).

    ReplyDelete
  45. Somebody call 911
    Shorty fire burning on the toilet floor
    Oh oh oh oh

    ReplyDelete
  46. I ate some taco bell with fire sauce...worst fire-hole ever! I have to wipe with those Kleenex with aloe just to get clean. I also have to crap lava every 15 minutes for the last 2 hours! The pain, it burns!

    ReplyDelete
  47. im in such bad pain , hotter than the flames of hell.

    ReplyDelete
  48. One person wrote that baby wipes calm the burning pain, I thank you kind person!! This really is the best page ever! Home made salsa not fun :(

    ReplyDelete
  49. Yep, may as well admit it. I'm on the can too! Seafood gumbo is the bane of my existence.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Omg it burns so bad! I shall banish thy habanero sauce!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. This is interesting, I'd like to know what causes it to hurt some peoples' anus while not hurting others'. I eat so much spicy food; I dump Sriracha on everything I eat, put habaneros in everything I prepare, and have never experienced a painful poop from any of that. But I've heard a lot of people talk about this phenomenon, so I got curious.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I have battled this my whole life as I am addicted to spicy food. I also have this bad habit of eating jalapenos out of the jar. Finally decided to see why it happens as I am regretting it now after a night of drinking. Glad to see I am not the only one. Its like a family here lol. All the support, advice, and shared stories.

    ReplyDelete
  53. A visitor left this message (which I slightly edited):

    I worked in a Thai kitchen for a couple of years (9 years ago) and ate spicy food every day and NEVER had any trouble at all. I became a hot pepper eater after that. I like spicy food.

    I've been eating spicy food on and off for years and even surprised some people with my ability to eat so much of it. I felt a little burn now and then that sort of felt nice. It never hurt me.

    Then, uh oh, i started making my OWN chilli paste and was really eating a lot - even spooning it into my mouth to test the flavors i was creating. That lasted for several months without any trouble at all. And then, one day i sat down on the toilet and man, oh man, i was in pain. And it still hurts a month later. The burning feeling is gone now when it's coming out but i have been left with a sustained pain. It hurts when i wipe. So, now, after every poop, i have to use a shower hose with warm water in the bathtub to try wash any "remains" away because if i don't do this, i feel a burn inside my anus after i pooped. And it's not that it's anything spicy in there as i completely stopped eating the stuff.

    [the results were unpleasant] WOW, my gosh!

    I started buying large aloe vera leaves from a Chinese market and cut some into strips, and peel off the skin, and freeze them, so i can [use them as suppositories]. Man oh man, i hope this stops soon.

    Needless to say, whatever hot chilli paste was not eaten was placed into the freezer to save it for "better days" if i ever have better days again. A month later and i still fear sitting on the toilet.

    I hope i am not permanently damaged in there.

    ReplyDelete
  54. I'm pretty sure my toilet hates me. I made the mistake of eating a jar of hot peppers with my sister. As I sit here trying my hardest not to wake the neighbors with my cries from the fiery pits of hell butt burn. It's a burn I haven't know in a very long time. That's what happens when you stop eating spicy food for two months then start again. . . OMG it hurts so bad I'm pretty sure I can't wipe!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Not sure what ingredient from Chuy's that is making it burn but I would like to know so I will not eat it anymore or PUT THE TOILET PAPER IN THE FREEZER BEFORE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  56. On my way to eat nachos I stated my dilemma out loud. Should I get jalapeños or not? I love them so much during, but hate my life the next day. So now I sit on the toilet trying not to cry.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Just woke up in and set down on the pot to blow fire i swear fire came out. Did the buffalo wild wing challange. And i won but am loosing now. Ouch
    *

    ReplyDelete
  58. Sweet Jesus I ordered the green coconut curry (THAI STYLE) and had it Thai hot.. 2 days my a$$ is on fire oh lord lol

    ReplyDelete
  59. I know i'm sensitive to spicy food, but i still eat it anyways. Now i regret it, oh dear the agony pain.

    ReplyDelete
  60. No more spicy flaming chicken chunks!!!! Ughhhhhhh

    ReplyDelete
  61. I had to post after reading all of the amazing comments here. Thai hot in process as I write.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Sitting on the throne as we speak nd man oh man I think eating 5 grilled none cut jalepaneos soaked with in its own sauce was the worse mistake in my manhood nd im 48 years old

    ReplyDelete
  63. Eaten a lot of sauce containing scotch bonnet and jolokia peppers and the pain was so bad i thought i was going to pass out. It was like passing magma. i have also blocked the bog pretty good and the smell is insane. Worst part is im pretty sure its not all out of my system :(

    ReplyDelete
  64. I was genuinely in tears when i started reading this desperately looking for a cure and now i am just laughing my ass off. I thought i was being punished last night when i was rushing for the water, little did i know the worst was yet to come. Aye carumba my poor hole

    Edit: Captcha was Fermenting Pain

    ReplyDelete
  65. I have a ring of fire while writing this... I need ice cream (for my bum!)

    ReplyDelete
  66. oh god atomic wings, have I displeased you? never before has my anus burned so intensely than just moments ago, I still feel it, not only in my butt but in my soul.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Ate some spicy foods all yesterday boy am I paying for it its was so bad I almost wanted to throw up ooh man am I scared to touch that toilet with my butt cheeks.. >_< my butt is on fire! I think its so bad my butt cheeks are screaming to me "it burns help us it burns" mean while my stomach is having a party I move and it growls loudly its like yelling at me" WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU GIVE ME SPICY FOOD ARE YOU AN IDIOT!" most of the time I can deal with the pain... but this time its way worse.

    ReplyDelete
  68. So just got off the toilet with the worse type of burn ever I swear it was like lava but this isn't the first time this has happened I started noticing I run right after getting off the toilet from shooting the devils fire into the toilet then I started to notice I eat more spicy foods maybe its because it makes me run. I don't really know but I do know that I'm ADHD so having this energy to run till the pain goes away is uhm... "normal?" I don't know but im in good shape from it... but the pain oh lord the pain!

    ReplyDelete
  69. my ass is on fire on e toilet seat right now.Had too many hot zinger wings last nyt...Jus googled to see if its normal.Jus put sm water in a bucket n sat on top...cooling down now....phew...

    ReplyDelete
  70. Ate some spicy tamales yesterday... I swear NEVER AGAIN (I will most likely will eat them in the future). I am literally rocking back and forth on my toilet, cringing with every push. The burn is so I tense I feel cursed. I am shedding tears, I might have to jump in the tub...

    ReplyDelete
  71. Jalapenos what did I do to deserve this whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

    ReplyDelete
  72. Firehouse subs 357 (#10 on their scale) hot sauce causing me to dump red hot coals led me to this site. Immediately regret that decision.

    ReplyDelete
  73. YOU regret the decision to visit this site? Tell me about it!

    ReplyDelete
  74. Yes include me in this. I have been on the now burning toilet of fire for 3 hours. These comments made me forget about the excruciating pain as I have been laughing for the past 30 min!

    Also, I'm going to try aloe to cool me off.

    ReplyDelete
  75. As soon I started reading these comments, my behind cooled down :) ate about 12 chilli wings last night. The regret!

    ReplyDelete
  76. OMG yea I have a problem with spicy food I love it too much so anything and everything I eat I add spice to it Chinese food? General chicken with extra spice .. Or extra hot cheetohs the new ones .. Soups? Oh yea hot sauce bam right in it o.0 pizza of course red pepper flakes. :( it's like a MUsT to have it hot annnnnd now I'm payin for it ugh it burns so bad it's never been this worse but my new thing now is SPICYNESS IN MODERATION kuz I can't deal with this I'm scared to go to the restroom 0.0 #never again (at least not this much lol) I like how everyone that is going thru this googles stuff about it (I'm assuming how to make it go away somehow .. How to ease the pain lol) and ended up here to share their pain lol

    ReplyDelete
  77. Sitting in the can at work taking a crap, got the burning ring of fire and googled this. No more China Palace Chicken for me!!

    ReplyDelete
  78. ..and it burns, burns, burns...my ring of fire...my ring of fire...

    ReplyDelete
  79. Suicide wings = volcanic butt acid. I need to be euthanized now!

    ReplyDelete
  80. Why Tijuana Mama, why?

    ReplyDelete
  81. I have burning diarrhea.
    Thanks popeye's

    ReplyDelete
  82. HaHA HA the comments are soo funny .im also on the toilet right now googling this thing but I guess I didn't get it as bad as the rest of you guys so I thank god for that and I hope ya'll feel better soon :-)

    ReplyDelete
  83. Hot and Spicy Chicken on its own = insanely dumb idea
    Hot and Spicy Chicken with a FULL jar of mayo = I MIGHT consider it!

    ReplyDelete
  84. Hoy mother of god, why did I eat the blazing wings at Buffalo Wild Wings?!?!? Did I not learn after my first trip through lower intestinal hades?!?! Guess not. This lady is in P.A.I.N.!

    ReplyDelete
  85. Do not get the Chile Verde burrito from Rancheritos in Utah, my anus is a firebreathing, magma spewing, volcano dragon right now, tear of fire stream down my face as I force feces of charcoal into the watery depths of the throne.

    ReplyDelete
  86. I love spicy food and my favorite pepper is the habanero. So I bought a few habanero peppers at the grocery store and I decided to eat a whole pepper last night. I didn't feel the spice at first and thought all those ppl on Youtube were all babies and then came the tears, the red face and the steam blowing out my ears. And now..I regret it. My a%$ is on fire. T_T I didn't try the stand in the shower thing. If you have the guts, just wait it out, it simmers down. Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Googled this while I thought I was dying on the toilet. I ate Thai for lunch with green chilies and it wasn't even that spicy! I love spicy food too! I never felt this kind of pain before I seriously thought my hole was bleeding. My stomach is upset too and I didn't know if I should puke but really my body is just revolting against this spicy poison I've consumed. Now I'm passing my own peppers...

    ReplyDelete
  88. Anonymous writes:


    Dear Chipotle Burrito,
    You have been a faithful and ever loving companion for these past 10 years. In this time you have helped grow me from a boy into a man. I love every nook and cranny in your tortilla wrap, and my tongue relishes eating your warm insides filled with free range chicken, white rice and black beans. I know it was probably not kosher for me to to mix the fresh tomato and red tomatillo chili salsas together, but I always cooled things down with sour cream. I never mixed any soda or chips and guac into our relationship, for me it was always about you, the burrito.
    Now I am sitting on the precipice (or more namely the toilet seat) in our relationship. My insides burn and my butt has never felt so tender. I fear the next push might be my last. You have lashed out at me with a vengence i cannot understand. Was the routine getting boring? (I know 10 years of the same burrito order does seem rather square) Did you meet someone new? Please explain why I now deserve this methodical torture of my anal cavity.
    I was not expecting this and frankly I am at a loss as for what I should do. I will remain on the precipice for some time to come. Please give me a sign that you wish to make our relationship work. My fiery [rectum] says to never see you again, but my heart and stomach still yearn for another bite.

    With considerable humility,

    Anonymous

    ReplyDelete
  89. I never had a problem with spicy foods. Yesterday i ate some of my brother's very hot salsa and im in tears while my bum burns. Gah help me!! The peppermint oil kinda helps my stomach.

    ReplyDelete
  90. I only had medium mango chicken last night and now here I sit, at work trapped in a cubical of pain!

    ReplyDelete
  91. I never had the desire, nor the urge, to stick an ice cube in my bum until now....

    ReplyDelete
  92. Freaking pimiento de padron! since when spanish food is spicy! MY A$$ is burning and that's how i found this page!

    ReplyDelete
  93. Never thought there was a blog like this until my bum was on fire from spicy peppered jerky last night at work bit me in the a** this morning boy can i say ouchy it burned so bad i almost teared up in the restroom glad that's over still feeling like there will be another run to the restroom. never again spicy jerky!

    ReplyDelete
  94. Beer, and buffalo chicken jalapeno for dinner last night. This morning, a porcelain project.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Ate pickled Thai peppers...... I think I may need a paramedic.. this sensation is reminiscent of the chipotle episode of southpark

    ReplyDelete
  96. Sweet mother of mercy, does anyone have a copy of the roman book of rituals? Someone needs to perform the rite of exorcism on my ass! I'm 99% sure satan himself is trying to escape! God in heaven no more ghost chilli sauce somebody call a priest please!!

    ReplyDelete
  97. I am not eating more than a teaspoon of sambal - ever again. I paired them with noodles and mixed meat yesterday, and it is so uncomfortable pooping. I thought the fiery sensation in my tongue was enough. Did not think it would affect my bowel movement.

    ReplyDelete
  98. NecroPod writes: "Dude I ate 2 scorpion peppers being a showoff to my friends who couldn't eat a whole ghost pepper....now I'm bent over in my living rom with my cheeks spread and a fan blowing on my lava ring while crying like a lil girl. ******* peppers are WAY worse on the way out !"

    ReplyDelete
  99. Watch not to eat to many habenero slim jims. I had to be late for work today. X0

    ReplyDelete
  100. Looks like it's time for my contribution. After peppers-and-lentils last night, my morning was offensive to both nose and ear. (I didn't dare look, but I'm sure it was unsightly, too!)

    ReplyDelete
  101. "I'll have the Jimmy John's Vito sandwich with extra, extra, extra hot peppers, please!" ... So naive ;_;

    ReplyDelete
  102. Anonymous writes:
    Like hot stuff, Jalapeno chili, spicy wings, tabasco sauce etc. So i thought itd be a good idea to try out 5 serrano peppers. chopped and cooked in with onions, terryaki chicken and rice last night… took the first bite, great flavor, and then Woooshh FIRE in the mouth. Was so hungry and beer munchies basically forced myself to eat the rest of it, Tasted so good besides the molten lava feeling. So today i pooped out molten hot magma about 4 times, and having intestinal cramps here and there, So should of went with green bell peppers instead.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Went to buffalo w.w. tonight had some wings now im home giving birth to the hottest buffalo ever best of all is carpertunnel toes hopefully they'll straighten out

    ReplyDelete
  104. I think I found a cure to the burning an us issue. I love eating jalapeño cheese nachos anytime I go see a movie but usually the next day I regret it dearly. I thought to myself what can I put on my bum to prevent the poo from touching and burning my skin. It dawned on me. Desitin you know for diaper rash. It's thick and put a waterproof layer on my skin. So I did and when it was my time... Omg it worked no burning regret. Try it next time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Give this person a prize! Desitin is pure brilliance mate!

      Delete
  105. I just gave birth to satan

    ReplyDelete
  106. I ate an inferno pizza, knowing my pain would be worse in the morning. I now have to purchase a new toilet and floorboards as it came out and burned its way back down through my house and into Hell!

    ReplyDelete
  107. Beer and nachos stacked with sliced jalapenos. I need the polar vortex from earlier this week to put out this heat. #buttfire

    ReplyDelete
  108. Had jalapeno peppers sauted in butter and covered in cheese last night. After eating the equivelant of 4 peppers, my ears were ringing something fierce. At that moment I knew I was going to regret it today. Worst painbive ever felt from going to the bathroom. That little experience caused my hemorrhoids to bleed and swell and thanks to the acid in the jalapenos, I now have an excruciating case of the burning ring of fire. Been to the bathroom over 5 times already. Fearing another battle with the beast that is sure to happen.

    ReplyDelete
  109. The worst thing, I didn't even eat anything spicy and I share in this torment!!!!! Trying to sleep as my body smoulders away at the center of my person, the pain seeming to radiate from the sweat pouring out of my forehead to the tips of my now trembling toes.

    Oh sweet merciful hades just take me now and end this torment!!!

    ReplyDelete
  110. Just poop... Wipe... Jump into the freezing cold shower.. Works very affective

    ReplyDelete
  111. Buffalo chicken pizza. I love buffalo chicken and I never have a problem... until now. Ate said pizza around 11 am, now it's 11 PM and I am in agony. Why?! I hope this isn't related to getting older.

    ReplyDelete
  112. I'm in good company wow !!

    ReplyDelete
  113. Anonymous writes:
    "I ate a normal cheese sandwich and then decided to be an idiot and put 3 cut up chillie peppers some nandos peri peri hot sauce and garlic hot sauce.... 20 minutes later im on the toilet and I kid you not (oh look a pun) my poop is burning my bum and is coming out like burning lava..."

    ReplyDelete
  114. Lol, love the person who had the idea to put the toilet paper in the freezer. As many of you, I am also part of the mid-push googling club. I found an awesome hot sauce, as many "normal" hot sauces I have found quite inferior. I loved it so much I put it on everything I ate for two days straight, and am down to half a bottle. This must be my punishment.

    ReplyDelete
  115. So.. my husband grew jalapeños green/red ones and chiles hueros in his garden... and mw the inventor ... decided I wanted to make a fresh salsa... well I mixed all 3 kinds of chilea.. maybe about 9 in total and 2-3 tomatoes. ... made an awesome and tasty salsa... the only downfall is im stittin on the toilet.. with my cornholio... on fire :(

    ReplyDelete
  116. Anonymous shared:
    "Bart King - I did it today - A Ghost chili, I was 20 minutes of PURE PAIN IN MY A**"

    Bart here—hey, what IS ghost chili?

    ReplyDelete
  117. Anonymous shares:
    "Burritos drenched in hot sauce [with a beer]. Kill me now... Lmao."

    ReplyDelete
  118. it's the Cajun spiced creole that gets you early. should be 21 to eat that

    ReplyDelete
  119. Spicy hot- pot made Me rethink a few life Choices.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Anonymous shares:
    "Ate a spicy mc chicken today and my [butt] is on fire and I have to hold it till I get in the bathroom."

    ReplyDelete
  121. Anonymous shares:
    "Crazy!!! For years I would hang out with one buddy and almost every week we would eat a nachos at a Mexican restaurant. He would take off all of the jalepenos and I would eat them all.--I thought that I had a disease of the a**. Pain blood flames!!!

    ...I had to quit eating them after I passed gas and flames came out and lit my apartment on fire. We call that RING STING

    Montgomery triangle is awesome "

    ReplyDelete
  122. Anonymous writes:
    "my boyfriend brought me home Mexican last night great then but now feels like lumpy bits of lava spaying out my [posterior] lucky he's at work"

    ReplyDelete
  123. Anonymous writes:
    "Im on the toilet [pooping] out this burning hell. Finally as it hurt too much I decided to look up on google how to stop it."

    ReplyDelete
  124. This is where the Johnny Cash song came from "and it burns burns burns like a ring of fire"

    ReplyDelete
  125. Anonymous I writes:
    "Im on the toilet to pooping out this burning hell. Finally as it hurt too much I decided to look up on google how to stop it"

    Anonymous II adds:
    "my boyfriend brought me home Mexican last night great then but now feels like lumpy bits of lava spaying out my butt. lucky he's at work."

    ReplyDelete
  126. Anonymouse writes:
    "Yup we know what that is like. After I eat jalapenos, I tend to eat a bunch of corn or other forms of fibre.--If it is gonna burn that bad coming out: then I want it to get out fast."

    ReplyDelete
  127. Well, my favorite way to spice up some leftovers was always to add a variety of hot sauces to the pan while reheating over the stove. This time it was a lot of hot curry and sriracha sauce added to the sloppy joe and pasta. A pit of a spicy food veteran, I merely had a small bit of kefir afterwards, for the probiotics - not the burn, you see. I had the strangest heat in my lower abdomen and upon visiting the room and sitting upon the throne, I knew the kingdom was done for - the cauldrons of boiling, flaming tar hissed as they hit the water and set the entire fleet on fire, burning the villages to ashes. For the time being, I must rally my forces - all while standing up for the foreseeable future...

    ReplyDelete
  128. I had Ghost Pepper peanuts at work, mid dump I started googling everything. Thought I was dying. Glad we could all share this awful pain together

    ReplyDelete
  129. I suffer from gastric reflux and I take nexium every second day to control it. I forgot to take it yesterday and had spicy piri piri Mozambique chicken. I eat spicy foods the whole time and have never ever in my entire hole life felt this way. Absolutely shocking cramps, burning poop, feel like puking etc. It will go eventually though and if not I will be back on here giving updates.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Made some tomato-beef sauce with habanero. Wasn't spicy at all while eating (in tortilla wrap with tomato, lettuce, canned corn). Now even my farts burn the hell out of my anus...

    ReplyDelete
  131. I'm Asian and I eat a lot of spicy foods. Yep, I do experience the burning sensation when pooping. :P eventually you'll get used to it. Chilies are like an appetizer to me.

    ReplyDelete
  132. I wondered why there was a stack of Habanero Chilli Con Carne meals in the Reduced corner, now I understand.... Farting sulphurously last night, much to the wife's displeasure, and 18 hours later comes this terrible combined pain and stink! I've warned her off this end of the landing, the Geiger counter's gone off the scale....

    ReplyDelete
  133. Today i eat Thai papaya salad with chili peppers....im in the toilet between crying and laughing!...best you can do is try to evacuate as ASAP... :-)

    ReplyDelete
  134. Sriracha shrimp tacos brought me here. Best post ever!

    ReplyDelete
  135. Subway jalapenos does this every time. When will I learn.

    ReplyDelete
  136. OMG.. I can't even think straight my ass burns so bad.. I used water.. soap... milk.. I can't sit, I can't stand.. never again will I accept a hot wing challenge from BDubs.. OMG.. someone kill me

    ReplyDelete
  137. "Anonymous" just wrote:

    "OMG.. I can't even think straight my a** burns so bad.. I used water.. soap... milk.. I can't sit, I can't stand.. never again will I accept a hot wing challenge from BDubs.. OMG.. someone kill me "

    ReplyDelete
  138. I find it amazing that every time I debate the spice it always wins! I then in turn spend hours praying utilizing anything I can to stop the forest fires protruding from deep within the pits of despair. I know its coming, I know its gonna hurts and there I am slopping up every puddle of liquid fire and devouring it....,.I know must sit in agony and continue my prayer as I have become the toilet monk. Vaseline please?.....(love the blog, really takes the edge off and helps me remember I'm not dying)

    ReplyDelete
  139. I swear if my are wasn't on fire I would have made fun of all of you.the pain is very real. Very real.. dad came in my room asking me what's wrong. When I told him chillies are burning my are he told me that black people aren't made for that hot stuff. And I should stay in my lane.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Check out the potato chip diet!! Eat an entire bag of red hot chips, within 2 hours you will drop 10 pounds! All while sitting down! Guaranteed.

    ReplyDelete
  141. New brick oven pizza place. Those places smell so good, right?

    "The marinara is spicy, will that be okay?"

    And then I replied, "Pfft, sure, no problem!"

    EVEN THOUGH I NEVER EAT SPICY FOOD. (And never will again.)

    Fast forward 24 hours, and I'm a frightened shell of my former self. I had to endure a two-hour car drive home, clenching my protesting backside the entire way, because after a public restroom experience, where apparently a new ring of hell was introduced--right out of my butt, I was too horrified to stop again until I got home.

    You know how there are commercials for pro-biotics, with happy little gut bacteria smiling and dancing? I'm pretty sure all of my gut bacteria died, turned to jet fuel, and then propelled themselves angrily out of my tender chute.

    I've watched my kid play with mentos & diet coke, and that was less explosive than my recent trips to the bathroom. I wish I was kidding. And, I really, really hope that I make it through the rest of the night without any further flame-throwing-into-the-toilet episodes. I'm relieved that so many others have posted here, it is a small comfort to know that I am not alone, and probably has saved me an embarrassing trip to the emergency room.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Oh! Me Arse!!

    As I sit here broken hearted, I tried to s@¿t but only farted. 😑

    ReplyDelete
  143. I was a quite a few beers deep and decided to have some suicide boneless wings with a medium chilli cheese fry and of course I had to go for fresh diced jalapeños dripping with their spicy goodness. Now at 4 am I think the best decision I can make to keep me from the torture that is about to happen is to get blacked out drunk in hopes that I will repress the memory of the gates of hell spewing pure evil from my insides

    ReplyDelete
  144. my butt is on fire and its bright red! I'm on my iPad and my kids are just staring at me screaming on the toilet my mother says rub Vaseline on it but I am not putting Vaseline in my butt I cant feel it anymore my a.. is numb for f...s sake kill me!

    ReplyDelete
  145. Me and my husband just did the ghost pepper challenge and Omg the stomach pain is awful 😁 but going to the bathroom it's so bad I almost could cry it's like my bum is on fire

    ReplyDelete
  146. Added scorpion chilli to some chilli flavoured noodles. On my 3Rd dump this morning and it burns. My arse is a bloody sore mess

    ReplyDelete
  147. Trinidad scorpion sauce added to noodles yesterday. Had 3 burning poops today. Tastes lovely but the bottle went in the bin this morning.

    ReplyDelete

No bad words, thanks!