January 6, 2010

Eating Spicy Food Makes Your Bum Burn!

Via.
I think you already knew this. (I know I did.) But in case we ever need evidence, now we have it:

Scientists did a study on poop. Specifically, they wanted to know if eating spicy food makes going poop a more— er... painful experience. You know, with burning?

So the scientists added chili powder to the food of a group of people. Then they observed the results. These can be summed up this way:

"Oh no... The pain! The fire! It burns!"

I'm glad we cleared that up.

There's no way you're going to want to read the actual study. Okay, if you insist, go over here. It's called "Red Hot Chilli Consumption Is Harmful in Patients... A Randomized, Double-Blind, Controlled Study." 

Another good name could be "Mean Scientists Make People Take Fiery Poops."

BONUS: Below are a judge's comments after scoring a chili-cooking contest. 
After eating: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my  forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I belched and four people in front of me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. The other judges asked me to stop screaming. 
After pooping: I’ve lost sight in one eye. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. My intestines are now filled with sulfuric flames. Can’t feel my butt anymore. I need to wipe my backside with a  snow cone.

172 comments:

  1. An anonymous commenter also wrote:
    "the burn caused from habanero peppers is insane!!! I thought the toilet paper was going to catch on fire as I was wiping... Just jump in the shower and [cool off] with water!"

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    1. Another commenter added, "I can't imagine what ghost peppers would be like, omg"

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    2. lmao after takis, its aweful

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  2. Yup. An evening meal of spicy buffalo wings, chilli tacos and everything else laden with the spicy spice will definitely lead to, > 24 hours later, a horrid case of "IT'S ON FIIIIIIIRE! THIS IS THE WORST PAIN EVER!!!! DX WAAAAAH!"

    Enough said.

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  3. had no idea until this morning, which prompted me to do a google search and land on this. that was some great jerk chicken last night, but man oh man i am suffering today.

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    1. yes! i ate super spicy veggie-dogs for dinner last night and then today had the most awful spicy burning turd. i don't eat a lot of spicy food so i am unaccustomed to the next day's burn, so i Googled this phenomenon.

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    2. Never eating Popeyes Spicy chicken again, only thing that does this to me

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  4. similar to anon... i made myself 2 meals of spicy chicken goujons with chilli ketchup in a wrap and ive been in agony down there for 2 visits now. never had it this bad before!

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  5. My bum burns as we speak!

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    1. same, I cooled it off in the shower and my bum is numb. i honestly cant feel it.

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    2. You must poop it all out. Then, you'll be in peace.

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  6. Searched and found this as im currently on the toilet in agony!

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    1. I'm on the toilet as we speak burning so bad! Spicy jambalaya and suicide hot wings last night, oh boy!

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    2. call 911!!!!!!!

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    3. Just found this, googling mid-dump. My bathroom is a murder scene. I'm purchasing a new toilet seat in the morning. I had a spice-rubbed burger today and now.... I'm ashamed.

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    4. I just left the toilet and still feel like I have some unfinished business. I can still feel it brewing in there and I'm about due to go back.

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    5. SAME, AHHHHGGGGGGG

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    6. Oh gosh, spicy pork korean bbq why...I thought we had a good thing going ;_;

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    7. Same. 2 years from your post, I sit in agony upon the throne. Why must our food hate us so?

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    8. Habanaro turkey sandwich. Why why Whyyyyyyyyyyy did I keep eating it after my tongue fell off D:

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    9. Same! BBQ pizza with all the hot stuff apparently was the golden tickets for this wonderful experience, maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

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    10. Oh man, ghost pepper burrito. I've had these painful experiences lots of times because I eat spicy a lot, but not like this !!! Aaaah!!!!

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    11. On the toilet as well as a side effect from a Chipotle burrito!

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    12. The burnnnnnn! Also had this happen to me for the first time and googled it to find out what was going on! Never again!! Still on the toliet and prob not moving for awhile!!

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    13. Yes I to had to look this up mid push as I sat on the toilet birthing a baby dragon due to this damn habanaro sauce. I've had it bad before but NEVER LIKE THIS! It was the tail end (lol) of the poo session that was the worst, ALL HABANARO sauce

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    14. Another mid pusher. Two spicy chicken sandwiches from Chik Fil A earlier. It just burns so bad. The sad part is this happens all the time. I keep telling myself no more spicy food, but literally, here I sit. #FML

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    15. Oh Jesus! I think I'm dying!

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    16. A small bag of Ruffles: Mega Hot Wings Chips and few hours of sleep later and here we are. At least you guys had some warning! My room's the basement, so I had to run up two flights of steps at 5am!

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  7. I'm glad I could help accentuate— er, ALLEVIATE the pain. :)

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  8. Ok..I was worried...glad i'm not sick 0_o this never happens to me before lol

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  9. Haha never eating spicy food again to say the least!! My bellys like cramping as I sit here to though? Is that normal?!

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  10. MY ASS IS ON FIRE RIGHT NOW!

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  11. I'm all with y'all & my butt is burning!!!!!!

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  12. It hurts so bad... Never eating spicy food again. I've been on the can 30% of the day and burns so bad. Holy morher of spicy burning sensations.

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  13. BURNING SO BAD, felt like i was giving birth out my butt

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  14. I ate eggs with pepers last night and my.butt is burning like hell and im constipated. Ohhh the pain. Just put me down now

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  15. Well I might as well post too. I'm sitting on the toilet pooping out some ghost chile wings and boy does it burn.

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  16. Hahaha lol I googled this and as I speak I'm sitting on the toilet & my butt is engulfed in flames!! THE PAIN!!! I ate a spicy kebab earlier.. Seemed like a great idea at the time but my lord am I paying for it now!!!!

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    1. Yes , happened for the first time ,while I was preparing breakfast for my family,that also right after a bath.it seemed my bum was on fire,I also had a spicy chiness meal last night.Been farting like there is no tomorrow

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  17. I think it's official: This is the blog's most-commented upon post. (And I couldn't be prouder!)

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  18. Ghost peppers hurts so bad I can't even describe it

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    1. There are no words to describe it. Had some ghost pepper wings last night so I go to the bathroom this morning and I'm like "wow...my poop is really warm this morn.............HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!!!!! DAHHHHHHHHHNHH!!!!!!"

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  19. Mother of all that is holy, for the past few days I have been taking a shot of cayenne pepper with lemon juice, maple syrup, and water to aid digestion and blood flow (weight loss), and today I took in a heaping teaspoon
    My butthole is equivalent to the fiery entrance to hell
    Also, it came flowing out of me like lava (bridesmaids reference) but seriously...

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  20. Scotch bonnet pepper - my arse is on fire

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  21. 100% true Indian food will do it to ya on the toilet now baby wipes provide relief

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    Replies
    1. Omg I had the best indian food last night and I'm so uncomfortable with my ass being on fire right now it's the WORST kind of buring EVER

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  22. LOL as i'm reading this on my laptop, I'm taking a fiery, burning poop.

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  23. I'm screaming in pain and agony while I'm destroying my toilet! my ass is on fire!!!!

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  24. My butt is on fire and and it won't stop coming! I'm destroying my toilet as I post this!!!

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  25. Reading this while my butthole is in fire from this spicy church's chicken

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  26. Voodoo wings have blessed me with a burning ring of fire

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  27. I am punishing the toilet as we speak

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  28. Atomic wing sauce burns twice as much going out than in. Aaaahhhhhh!!!

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  29. Im brutalizing the toliet right now :c
    I feel better now that ive read Im not the only with fire buns....

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  30. An extremely spicy burrito brought me here, first time I ever felt this ,ughhh! It really does burn lol

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    Replies
    1. Just took an anti-allergy. Fexigra-120 it works really .just try as I am relived of the burning bum after taking it

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  31. Shove ice cubes up your arse.

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  32. Though I have been here before, I assure you that this is the worst trip yet. I'm pretty sure my colon has joined a freak religious order and taken vows of self-inflicted agony. The worst part is that it is taking forever since my colon is too scared to just rip the band-aid and get this over with... Oh no, at our house, we take our sweet time and relish in every agonizing second of last night's poor culinary choices.

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  33. HABANERO,GHOST PEPPER, PIZZA, AND BEER TORE ME A NEW ONE I HAVE TO SIT SIDEWAYS ON THE JOHN AND I MELTED THE LITTLE BLUE PILL THAT GOES IN THE TOILET I HATE MYSELF RIGHT NOW!!!

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  34. Stupid Thaif food restaurant. I said "medium spicy" not "make it spicy"! What did you do to me?!?! aAAAAAAAAAAGH!

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  35. For all you guys reading this on your laptop while taking a hot steamy one , i hope you wash your hands. LOL,

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  36. Oh my hot fiery anus and surrounding scorched ass! Seriously have eaten a Crap load of spicy food in the past and only once can I remember my bum burning and it was from eating an entire bag of flaming hot cheetohs. I had a spicy Italian sub from subway today for lunch, had them add pepperoncinos. Didn't think it was that spicy, then ate a hot link sandwich for dinner tonight. 15 minutes later I am on the toilet shooting liquid lava out my ass. The pain is excruciating! What the hell? It hasn't stopped burning. I've gone twice and refuse to go again cause I just can't bare it. Seriously having trouble walking normal or sitting. 5 more hours before I get off work. Aaaaaaagh!

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    1. At work myself with the same problem, why di I ever take a sit down desk job. I want to cry

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  37. I ate a burrito with lots of chili in the morning in the after noon at some blazing hot wings and at night I ate mexican spicy food I woke up today rushed to the bathroom and now I'm part of this "on the can burning" club haha

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  38. Hahahahahaha omg! Im also now part of this club... usually one who can eat hot food regularly no problems last night had suicide hot wings and today everytime Ive had to go its been the burning ring of fire as previously put! Never again, will stick to what I know works with me -_-

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  39. thank god you put this post up!!!!! i used Desitin! helped a lot!

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  40. Thank you, at least now I know I'm not the only one!

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  41. If i funnel milk into my bum will the burning stop? But more importntly, will i still respect myself?

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    Replies
    1. My thoughts exactly! My ass is ablaze! This is a new one for me!!

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  42. ate some insane zaxbys wings last night this morning my stomach was hurting and my bum was on fire

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  43. Ghost Pepper Hot Sauce... The Bhut Jolokia... Hottest Natural Pepper in the WORLD. 8~| Never again.

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  44. I was about to call an ambulance. The pain and fire was enormously unbearable! I have never experienced such pain in my life due to spices and hence i came to this page

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  45. Looks like I am now a part of the "on the toilet sh*tting lava club" ordered MILD thai food today, but suffered through eating whatever their exact OPPOSITE version of mild is... I thought the worst part was over as I suffered through the last bite.

    Now I sit humbled by the Thai dragon leaving my colon

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  46. In a weird coincidence, "Now I sit humbled by the Thai dragon leaving my colon" is the name of my band!

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  47. i kinda like the feel lol

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  48. 2 spicy McChickens later and here I am...

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    Replies
    1. every time I eat one of those it's always the same story the next day

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  49. Wing dome 7 deadly wing chalange. Made it half way before i had to stop. Spent the next 10S hours doubled over feeling the fire travel through my body. So much fire it even burns to pee. I've spent enough time on the throne to read every post here and the flow of lava continues.

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  50. Popeye's chicken strips with about 25 packets of "Lose-yo-anus" hot sauce. I ate about an hour and a half ago, then went for a bike ride with my kids. In AGONY now. "Now, that's Louisiana FAST!". ( I had to try to see SOME humor in it ).

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  51. Somebody call 911
    Shorty fire burning on the toilet floor
    Oh oh oh oh

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  52. I ate some taco bell with fire sauce...worst fire-hole ever! I have to wipe with those Kleenex with aloe just to get clean. I also have to crap lava every 15 minutes for the last 2 hours! The pain, it burns!

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  53. im in such bad pain , hotter than the flames of hell.

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  54. One person wrote that baby wipes calm the burning pain, I thank you kind person!! This really is the best page ever! Home made salsa not fun :(

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  55. Yep, may as well admit it. I'm on the can too! Seafood gumbo is the bane of my existence.

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  56. Omg it burns so bad! I shall banish thy habanero sauce!!

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  57. This is interesting, I'd like to know what causes it to hurt some peoples' anus while not hurting others'. I eat so much spicy food; I dump Sriracha on everything I eat, put habaneros in everything I prepare, and have never experienced a painful poop from any of that. But I've heard a lot of people talk about this phenomenon, so I got curious.

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    Replies
    1. So basically...you have a superpower!

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  58. I have battled this my whole life as I am addicted to spicy food. I also have this bad habit of eating jalapenos out of the jar. Finally decided to see why it happens as I am regretting it now after a night of drinking. Glad to see I am not the only one. Its like a family here lol. All the support, advice, and shared stories.

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  59. A visitor left this message (which I slightly edited):

    I worked in a Thai kitchen for a couple of years (9 years ago) and ate spicy food every day and NEVER had any trouble at all. I became a hot pepper eater after that. I like spicy food.

    I've been eating spicy food on and off for years and even surprised some people with my ability to eat so much of it. I felt a little burn now and then that sort of felt nice. It never hurt me.

    Then, uh oh, i started making my OWN chilli paste and was really eating a lot - even spooning it into my mouth to test the flavors i was creating. That lasted for several months without any trouble at all. And then, one day i sat down on the toilet and man, oh man, i was in pain. And it still hurts a month later. The burning feeling is gone now when it's coming out but i have been left with a sustained pain. It hurts when i wipe. So, now, after every poop, i have to use a shower hose with warm water in the bathtub to try wash any "remains" away because if i don't do this, i feel a burn inside my anus after i pooped. And it's not that it's anything spicy in there as i completely stopped eating the stuff.

    [the results were unpleasant] WOW, my gosh!

    I started buying large aloe vera leaves from a Chinese market and cut some into strips, and peel off the skin, and freeze them, so i can [use them as suppositories]. Man oh man, i hope this stops soon.

    Needless to say, whatever hot chilli paste was not eaten was placed into the freezer to save it for "better days" if i ever have better days again. A month later and i still fear sitting on the toilet.

    I hope i am not permanently damaged in there.

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  60. My ass is on fire now after eating spicy stir fry for lunch I'm literally close to tears first and last time ill eat that

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  61. I'm pretty sure my toilet hates me. I made the mistake of eating a jar of hot peppers with my sister. As I sit here trying my hardest not to wake the neighbors with my cries from the fiery pits of hell butt burn. It's a burn I haven't know in a very long time. That's what happens when you stop eating spicy food for two months then start again. . . OMG it hurts so bad I'm pretty sure I can't wipe!!!!

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  62. Not sure what ingredient from Chuy's that is making it burn but I would like to know so I will not eat it anymore or PUT THE TOILET PAPER IN THE FREEZER BEFORE!!!

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  63. On my way to eat nachos I stated my dilemma out loud. Should I get jalapeños or not? I love them so much during, but hate my life the next day. So now I sit on the toilet trying not to cry.

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  64. Just woke up in and set down on the pot to blow fire i swear fire came out. Did the buffalo wild wing challange. And i won but am loosing now. Ouch
    *

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  65. Sweet Jesus I ordered the green coconut curry (THAI STYLE) and had it Thai hot.. 2 days my a$$ is on fire oh lord lol

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  66. I know i'm sensitive to spicy food, but i still eat it anyways. Now i regret it, oh dear the agony pain.

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  67. No more spicy flaming chicken chunks!!!! Ughhhhhhh

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  68. Just ate carnitas hot burrito at Santiago s n men is my ass on fire

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  69. I had to post after reading all of the amazing comments here. Thai hot in process as I write.

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  70. Sitting on the throne as we speak nd man oh man I think eating 5 grilled none cut jalepaneos soaked with in its own sauce was the worse mistake in my manhood nd im 48 years old

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  71. Eaten a lot of sauce containing scotch bonnet and jolokia peppers and the pain was so bad i thought i was going to pass out. It was like passing magma. i have also blocked the bog pretty good and the smell is insane. Worst part is im pretty sure its not all out of my system :(

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  72. I was genuinely in tears when i started reading this desperately looking for a cure and now i am just laughing my ass off. I thought i was being punished last night when i was rushing for the water, little did i know the worst was yet to come. Aye carumba my poor hole

    Edit: Captcha was Fermenting Pain

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  73. I have a ring of fire while writing this... I need ice cream (for my bum!)

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  74. oh god atomic wings, have I displeased you? never before has my anus burned so intensely than just moments ago, I still feel it, not only in my butt but in my soul.

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  75. Ate some spicy foods all yesterday boy am I paying for it its was so bad I almost wanted to throw up ooh man am I scared to touch that toilet with my butt cheeks.. >_< my butt is on fire! I think its so bad my butt cheeks are screaming to me "it burns help us it burns" mean while my stomach is having a party I move and it growls loudly its like yelling at me" WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU GIVE ME SPICY FOOD ARE YOU AN IDIOT!" most of the time I can deal with the pain... but this time its way worse.

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  76. So just got off the toilet with the worse type of burn ever I swear it was like lava but this isn't the first time this has happened I started noticing I run right after getting off the toilet from shooting the devils fire into the toilet then I started to notice I eat more spicy foods maybe its because it makes me run. I don't really know but I do know that I'm ADHD so having this energy to run till the pain goes away is uhm... "normal?" I don't know but im in good shape from it... but the pain oh lord the pain!

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  77. my ass is on fire on e toilet seat right now.Had too many hot zinger wings last nyt...Jus googled to see if its normal.Jus put sm water in a bucket n sat on top...cooling down now....phew...

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  78. Ate some spicy tamales yesterday... I swear NEVER AGAIN (I will most likely will eat them in the future). I am literally rocking back and forth on my toilet, cringing with every push. The burn is so I tense I feel cursed. I am shedding tears, I might have to jump in the tub...

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  79. Jalapenos what did I do to deserve this whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

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  80. Firehouse subs 357 (#10 on their scale) hot sauce causing me to dump red hot coals led me to this site. Immediately regret that decision.

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  81. YOU regret the decision to visit this site? Tell me about it!

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  82. Yes include me in this. I have been on the now burning toilet of fire for 3 hours. These comments made me forget about the excruciating pain as I have been laughing for the past 30 min!

    Also, I'm going to try aloe to cool me off.

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  83. As soon I started reading these comments, my behind cooled down :) ate about 12 chilli wings last night. The regret!

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  84. OMG yea I have a problem with spicy food I love it too much so anything and everything I eat I add spice to it Chinese food? General chicken with extra spice .. Or extra hot cheetohs the new ones .. Soups? Oh yea hot sauce bam right in it o.0 pizza of course red pepper flakes. :( it's like a MUsT to have it hot annnnnd now I'm payin for it ugh it burns so bad it's never been this worse but my new thing now is SPICYNESS IN MODERATION kuz I can't deal with this I'm scared to go to the restroom 0.0 #never again (at least not this much lol) I like how everyone that is going thru this googles stuff about it (I'm assuming how to make it go away somehow .. How to ease the pain lol) and ended up here to share their pain lol

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  85. my arse is numb :(

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  86. Sitting in the can at work taking a crap, got the burning ring of fire and googled this. No more China Palace Chicken for me!!

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  87. ..and it burns, burns, burns...my ring of fire...my ring of fire...

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  88. Suicide wings = volcanic butt acid. I need to be euthanized now!

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  89. Why Tijuana Mama, why?

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  90. I have burning diarrhea.
    Thanks popeye's

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  91. HaHA HA the comments are soo funny .im also on the toilet right now googling this thing but I guess I didn't get it as bad as the rest of you guys so I thank god for that and I hope ya'll feel better soon :-)

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  92. Hot and Spicy Chicken on its own = insanely dumb idea
    Hot and Spicy Chicken with a FULL jar of mayo = I MIGHT consider it!

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  93. Hoy mother of god, why did I eat the blazing wings at Buffalo Wild Wings?!?!? Did I not learn after my first trip through lower intestinal hades?!?! Guess not. This lady is in P.A.I.N.!

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  94. Do not get the Chile Verde burrito from Rancheritos in Utah, my anus is a firebreathing, magma spewing, volcano dragon right now, tear of fire stream down my face as I force feces of charcoal into the watery depths of the throne.

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  95. I love spicy food and my favorite pepper is the habanero. So I bought a few habanero peppers at the grocery store and I decided to eat a whole pepper last night. I didn't feel the spice at first and thought all those ppl on Youtube were all babies and then came the tears, the red face and the steam blowing out my ears. And now..I regret it. My a%$ is on fire. T_T I didn't try the stand in the shower thing. If you have the guts, just wait it out, it simmers down. Lol.

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  96. Googled this while I thought I was dying on the toilet. I ate Thai for lunch with green chilies and it wasn't even that spicy! I love spicy food too! I never felt this kind of pain before I seriously thought my hole was bleeding. My stomach is upset too and I didn't know if I should puke but really my body is just revolting against this spicy poison I've consumed. Now I'm passing my own peppers...

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  97. Anonymous writes:


    Dear Chipotle Burrito,
    You have been a faithful and ever loving companion for these past 10 years. In this time you have helped grow me from a boy into a man. I love every nook and cranny in your tortilla wrap, and my tongue relishes eating your warm insides filled with free range chicken, white rice and black beans. I know it was probably not kosher for me to to mix the fresh tomato and red tomatillo chili salsas together, but I always cooled things down with sour cream. I never mixed any soda or chips and guac into our relationship, for me it was always about you, the burrito.
    Now I am sitting on the precipice (or more namely the toilet seat) in our relationship. My insides burn and my butt has never felt so tender. I fear the next push might be my last. You have lashed out at me with a vengence i cannot understand. Was the routine getting boring? (I know 10 years of the same burrito order does seem rather square) Did you meet someone new? Please explain why I now deserve this methodical torture of my anal cavity.
    I was not expecting this and frankly I am at a loss as for what I should do. I will remain on the precipice for some time to come. Please give me a sign that you wish to make our relationship work. My fiery [rectum] says to never see you again, but my heart and stomach still yearn for another bite.

    With considerable humility,

    Anonymous

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  98. I never had a problem with spicy foods. Yesterday i ate some of my brother's very hot salsa and im in tears while my bum burns. Gah help me!! The peppermint oil kinda helps my stomach.

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  99. I only had medium mango chicken last night and now here I sit, at work trapped in a cubical of pain!

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  100. I never had the desire, nor the urge, to stick an ice cube in my bum until now....

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  101. Freaking pimiento de padron! since when spanish food is spicy! MY A$$ is burning and that's how i found this page!

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  102. Never thought there was a blog like this until my bum was on fire from spicy peppered jerky last night at work bit me in the a** this morning boy can i say ouchy it burned so bad i almost teared up in the restroom glad that's over still feeling like there will be another run to the restroom. never again spicy jerky!

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  103. Beer, and buffalo chicken jalapeno for dinner last night. This morning, a porcelain project.

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  104. Ate pickled Thai peppers...... I think I may need a paramedic.. this sensation is reminiscent of the chipotle episode of southpark

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  105. Sweet mother of mercy, does anyone have a copy of the roman book of rituals? Someone needs to perform the rite of exorcism on my ass! I'm 99% sure satan himself is trying to escape! God in heaven no more ghost chilli sauce somebody call a priest please!!

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  106. Damn buffalo chicken pizza...why must you give me culito burns the next day...my culo is on firrrre.

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  107. I am not eating more than a teaspoon of sambal - ever again. I paired them with noodles and mixed meat yesterday, and it is so uncomfortable pooping. I thought the fiery sensation in my tongue was enough. Did not think it would affect my bowel movement.

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  108. NecroPod writes: "Dude I ate 2 scorpion peppers being a showoff to my friends who couldn't eat a whole ghost pepper....now I'm bent over in my living rom with my cheeks spread and a fan blowing on my lava ring while crying like a lil girl. ******* peppers are WAY worse on the way out !"

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  109. Watch not to eat to many habenero slim jims. I had to be late for work today. X0

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  110. Looks like it's time for my contribution. After peppers-and-lentils last night, my morning was offensive to both nose and ear. (I didn't dare look, but I'm sure it was unsightly, too!)

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  111. "I'll have the Jimmy John's Vito sandwich with extra, extra, extra hot peppers, please!" ... So naive ;_;

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  112. Anonymous writes:
    Like hot stuff, Jalapeno chili, spicy wings, tabasco sauce etc. So i thought itd be a good idea to try out 5 serrano peppers. chopped and cooked in with onions, terryaki chicken and rice last night… took the first bite, great flavor, and then Woooshh FIRE in the mouth. Was so hungry and beer munchies basically forced myself to eat the rest of it, Tasted so good besides the molten lava feeling. So today i pooped out molten hot magma about 4 times, and having intestinal cramps here and there, So should of went with green bell peppers instead.

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  113. Went to buffalo w.w. tonight had some wings now im home giving birth to the hottest buffalo ever best of all is carpertunnel toes hopefully they'll straighten out

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  114. I think I found a cure to the burning an us issue. I love eating jalapeño cheese nachos anytime I go see a movie but usually the next day I regret it dearly. I thought to myself what can I put on my bum to prevent the poo from touching and burning my skin. It dawned on me. Desitin you know for diaper rash. It's thick and put a waterproof layer on my skin. So I did and when it was my time... Omg it worked no burning regret. Try it next time!

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    Replies
    1. Give this person a prize! Desitin is pure brilliance mate!

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  115. I just gave birth to satan

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  116. I ate an inferno pizza, knowing my pain would be worse in the morning. I now have to purchase a new toilet and floorboards as it came out and burned its way back down through my house and into Hell!

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  117. Beer and nachos stacked with sliced jalapenos. I need the polar vortex from earlier this week to put out this heat. #buttfire

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  118. Had jalapeno peppers sauted in butter and covered in cheese last night. After eating the equivelant of 4 peppers, my ears were ringing something fierce. At that moment I knew I was going to regret it today. Worst painbive ever felt from going to the bathroom. That little experience caused my hemorrhoids to bleed and swell and thanks to the acid in the jalapenos, I now have an excruciating case of the burning ring of fire. Been to the bathroom over 5 times already. Fearing another battle with the beast that is sure to happen.

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  119. It was so bad i couldn't sit at my computer i had to get on my phone and laydown then google this DAM.N BUFFALO WILD WING BLAZIN' WINGS, I WILL KILL YOU

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  120. The worst thing, I didn't even eat anything spicy and I share in this torment!!!!! Trying to sleep as my body smoulders away at the center of my person, the pain seeming to radiate from the sweat pouring out of my forehead to the tips of my now trembling toes.

    Oh sweet merciful hades just take me now and end this torment!!!

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  121. Just poop... Wipe... Jump into the freezing cold shower.. Works very affective

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  122. Buffalo chicken pizza. I love buffalo chicken and I never have a problem... until now. Ate said pizza around 11 am, now it's 11 PM and I am in agony. Why?! I hope this isn't related to getting older.

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  123. Haha some comments here are damn fun to read. And yes, I am on the toilet now with my tablet :D. I was eating habanero stuff. Damn ass, y u no like spicy food

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  124. I'm in good company wow !!

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  125. Anonymous writes:
    "I ate a normal cheese sandwich and then decided to be an idiot and put 3 cut up chillie peppers some nandos peri peri hot sauce and garlic hot sauce.... 20 minutes later im on the toilet and I kid you not (oh look a pun) my poop is burning my bum and is coming out like burning lava..."

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  126. Lol, love the person who had the idea to put the toilet paper in the freezer. As many of you, I am also part of the mid-push googling club. I found an awesome hot sauce, as many "normal" hot sauces I have found quite inferior. I loved it so much I put it on everything I ate for two days straight, and am down to half a bottle. This must be my punishment.

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  127. So.. my husband grew jalapeños green/red ones and chiles hueros in his garden... and mw the inventor ... decided I wanted to make a fresh salsa... well I mixed all 3 kinds of chilea.. maybe about 9 in total and 2-3 tomatoes. ... made an awesome and tasty salsa... the only downfall is im stittin on the toilet.. with my cornholio... on fire :(

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  128. Anonymous shared:
    "Bart King - I did it today - A Ghost chili, I was 20 minutes of PURE PAIN IN MY A**"

    Bart here—hey, what IS ghost chili?

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  129. Anonymous shares:
    "Burritos drenched in hot sauce [with a beer]. Kill me now... Lmao."

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No bad words, thanks!