My hair will never be bad enough to use THIS

Henna 'n' Placenta Conditioning Treatment

You know what's gross? Facial hair!

These South African ads get up close and personal with facial hair. The result? Yuck! 

(Via.)

"Dude, your nose hair—BLECH."

Have you ever wanted to tell someone that their nose hair was gross, but you just didn't have the guts? Luckily, there is a service called Chololi. And it's here to help!

Here's how it works. You just tell Chololi who HAS the nose hair, and the person gets an anonymous email. Everyone's happy!

Mullet + Back Hair = New Ultra-Gross Post!

Today's Vocabulary

cejijunto
: a person with one long continuous eyebrow.

Ooh, and someone cracked me up yesterday by dissing someone's "vile intestinal product." He meant poop!

And now, a word from our sponsor.

In Japan, underarms are a deadly weapon!

This is an ad for a Japanese hair removal product. And according to it, hair under a woman's arms will burn a laser into innocent victim's skulls!

I've never been so glad that I'm bald.

You've heard the old saying:

"The family that braids its hair together, stays together. 

(Because otherwise, it would hurt real bad!)"

You may remember the Kelly Family for their epic video, "I Ain't Gonna Pee My Bed Tonight." And it turns out that the family is STILL recording music.

But the above album cover from yesteryear does raise the question:

WHY?

Cover link via Laughing Squid.

The Helmet Heads of the Buckingham Guards!

I always thought that the guards at Buckingham Palace wore big, furry helmets.

And I've always wondered why they're so big. Is there a special hiding places in the helmets for weapons and whatnot?

No!

As this photo of a guard getting a haircut shows, they're not helmets at all!

 Photo from Ads of the World.

"I want to look like that . . . decapitated head?!"

"Okay people, let's get creative. We need to come up with a magazine ad to sell 'hair-set tape'... you know, the tape women use on their hair to keep it in place. Any ideas?"

"Why don't we cut off a woman's head and put tape on it?"

"Great thought. Get to it, people!"

Armpit Troll?

Via.

I'm not sure if this is a tattoo or just a drawing.


Either way, it's funny AND unpleasant ... so it's perfect for Ultra-Gross!

Unibrows? Okay! Back Hair? Never!

"A stands for Abhorrent! Whoo!"

Back hair IS gross. I was reminded of this by a football fan who shaved an "A" into his back hair (!).

See, he’s an Appalachian State fan, and…oh, never mind. Gross! (More on back hair here.)

Autorretrato con collar
 de espinas y colibrí

But is body hair —or even face hair— gross? To help answer this question, David Moye writes about women who have declared this month Decembrow. The idea is for women to STOP plucking their eyebrows. 

I can see the beauty in Decembrow . . . who wants to be yanking hairs out of their face all the time? And I appreciate strong eyebrows— or just one strong unibrow, like artist Frida Kahlo is sporting above.

But as for guys, some of us need to pluck. I mean, come on, Ramón Rivas!

The Gross Guessing Game!

Below are two photos of the human body taken with electron microscopes. See if you can guess what they are!

Item One

Yes, you have bamboo growing out of you.

Item Two

Oh, and alien caterpillars have a home on you.

Pencils down! What do you think, huh? Huh? Okay the first one is clearly some sort of hair. And the second photo shows germs. Ready for the amazing answers?

Item One: Eyelashes!
Item Two: Tongue bacteria!

Photos from here.

Of Hairballs and Troy Polamalu

Over at this website, a writer makes an interesting point: A dirty room is much more disgusting than a handful of REAL dirt!

But why? Maybe it’s because dirt in the house is out-of-place.  So when we clean house, we clean the dirt out of it. But dirt in a garden is actually pretty cool. That’s where it belongs!

This works with hair, too. When we see hair on someone’s head, it doesn’t repulse us. It belongs there! But if the hair is dirty, than it’s gross. And since hair in a drain doesn’t belong there, it's nasty!

Hey can you imagine the kind of hairballs that Troy Polamalu pulls out of the shower drain? 

They must be epic!

Top photos from Sociological Images,

Troy's photo from here.

THAT'S what's in a Milky Way?

If so, I don't even want to know what they put in Snickers.

Need Back Hair? Get Yak Hair!

I remember watching the very first episode of Malcolm in the Middle. It started in the kitchen, where the shirtless dad (Hal) was getting his back hair trimmed by his wife as the kids were eating breakfast.

It was so horrible, you had to laugh!

So I was interested in this interview where the actor who played the dad, Bryan Cranston, talks about the scene. Apparently, to give him enough back hair, they glued YAK hair to his body! Yak hair looks sort of like human hair, it’s just longer. (If you want to hear his funny description of it, go to NPR here and listen at 9:30.)

Hey, you know what would be REALLY gross? Seeing someone with a hairy back who was sagging. Yuck!