You know how knitters seem all peaceful and kind?

DON'T BE FOOLED.

Via.

Happy Holidays!

This scary head/skull is from a German rosary that was made over 500 years ago. Here’s its description from the Metropolitan Museum of Art:

[This shows] the head of a deceased man, with half the image eaten away from decay. Such images served as reminders that life is fleeting and that leading a virtuous life . . . is key to salvation.

Well, isn't that lovely!

The Helmet Heads of the Buckingham Guards!

I always thought that the guards at Buckingham Palace wore big, furry helmets.

And I've always wondered why they're so big. Is there a special hiding places in the helmets for weapons and whatnot?

No!

As this photo of a guard getting a haircut shows, they're not helmets at all!

 Photo from Ads of the World.

Please: Don't Talk on the Phone While Pooping!

Before I explain that title, first I have to say that pink skulls are for girls. Don't believe me? Just look!

See, it says so right on the package!

I saw the pink skull at the finest toy story in Portland, Finnegan's Toys & Gifts. While there, I also spotted some bandages in the shapes of pickles and toast. They're not exactly disgusting...but they ARE cool!

But I know what you're here for, so here's a gross story. From Finnegan's, I went down to Powell's Books. After seeing if they had a copy of The Big Book of Gross Stuff (they did!), I went into a bathroom and stepped up to a urinal.

"Dude, what's going on?" said a deep voice.

Surprised, I looked around.

"I'm at Powell's right now," the voice continued. "Just looking at books and stuff."

Looking left, I located the source of the voice. It was some guy sitting in a stall, pooping, and talking on the phone! This is disgusting for a number of reasons. First, poop germs were probably landing on his phone even as he spoke.

And I also felt sorry for the person on the other end of the conversation. Who wants to TALK to some applehead when he's pooping?

Not me. I also don't want to LISTEN to it, so I washed my hands and got out of there! The only reason to stick around would have been in the hope that he'd drop his cellphone into the toilet. But what are the odds of THAT happening?