National Public Radio has serious gas

Over at NPR, they recently ran a piece about how microbes in your gut can keep you healthy. In it, they talk about food, gas, and the fact that most people fart about 18 times a day.

This led to a slew of different comments from listeners and readers... they were so good, I've included some of them below!

I am totally going to send this to my wife. “See honey, I poot because I'm healthy! I am not in fact, as you say, 'dying inside.'”            
                  


“A healthy individual can have up to 18 flatulences per day and be perfectly normal.” I'm going to start counting.

               
You have 18 per hour.” (My wife talking about me)

                  


If someone goes over their daily allotment at your office, maybe you can institute a “cork and trade” system.

 “Get the de-fiberlators - we've got a Code 19.”
               
You still don't need to fan the covers when you do it”- Every wife everywhere
                     

                

There was a time when I had very caustic gas that regularly burned holes in my cotton underwear. Amusing but expensive . . .
      
Funny how every comment is about how men fart and women don't, and how husbands everywhere are rejoicing. Interesting to see social pressures at work - men feel comfortable farting at any time, women feel pressured to politely hide it, and get treated as unwomanly if they don't. Yet both of us fart just as much, hahaha

               
Yeah I was thinking the same thing as I scrolled through the comments. I'm a woman, and I fart just as much as my boyfriend. We've always accepted each other completely, farts and all. Part of being human! I'm done with pretending to be polite.
       


               
My mother always quoted a ditty she learned from her mother, on this subject, so some women weren't embarrassed to let it all out: “Better to fart and bear the shame, than hold in it and bear the pain.”

Butt Blasts from the Past!

You may know Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) from his famous story Gulliver's Travels.

Swift was a funny man, as he showed in short book titled The Benefit of Farting Explain’d.

This classic included a lovely poem about passing gas in Parliament. It's known as... 

"On A Fart, let in the House of Commons" 

Reader, I was born, and cried;
I crack'd, I smelt, and so I died.
Like Julius Caesar's was my death,
Who in the senate lost his breath.
Much alike entomb'd does lie
The noble Romulus and I:
And when I died, like Flora fair,
I left the commonwealth my heir.

See, the narrator is like Julius Caesar because he died in the Roman senate, just like our gas passer. And that last line is funny, because he "heir" is pronounced like "air" and he's leaving his foul-smelling air to the government. Heheh... ouch. 

Oh, and one more thing—Jonathan Swift wrote all this under a fake name: Don Fartinando Puff-indorst!

Yes, THAT would be a bad magician.

Thanks, Guy Endore-Kaiser!

I have eight brothers and sisters. Know why that was nice?

When I was growing up, the toilet seat was never cold.

Rate your poop with a movie title!

I slightly edited this bathroom graffiti to make it more appropriate. Anyway, The Departed, Black Hawk Down, Cast Away, and The Fast and the Furious are all winners!

(Commenters added Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Flushed Away, Splash, and Operation Dumbo Drop.)

Peeing Honey Bear!

By Laser Bread.

What's with the giant litter box?

Nice work, Science World!

Heheh

Via.

Look out for that mummy!

From Bent Objects

"Fart Trek" is actually pretty amazing.

No one can top this...

Wait, someone DID top it!

"I farted and then laughed so hard I made a five-year old."

Via.

Good Reading!

De-Worming World is not available at a newsstand near you.

These kids are gross, mean, snotty, rude, and rebellious. (I love them!)

Garbage Pail Kids were a mockery of Cabbage Patch Kids from back in the 1980s. The GPK showed up on various trading cards. As artist John Pound fondly recalls:

Using shock tactics for maximum impact, GPKs would be gross, mean, snotty, rude, and rebellious. But since I had to look at these violent, miserable, and disgusting kids all day while painting them, I selfishly wanted them to also feel good to look at—to be cute and lovable while spewing mayhem, disasters, and wild, crazy nonsense like they’re proud to be weird!

Buy the book! (If you want. No pressure. Not in the mood? Buy my books instead!)

"Just go poop!"

A six-year old has some brilliant advice for his teacher:

Dear Mrs. Clark
I heard you did not feel good. Well win that happens hears a trick to learn............
Just go POOP!
I am not kiding it works with me every morning I fell bad. SO JUST rememBer win you fell bad the first thing yo udo is POOP!

Yes, that is very amusing.

Grant Henderson runs a septic removal business. And he's got a new website address for it. Yay!

Primates in the Rectal Vault

A friend has a three-year old who I'll call Kitty. Like a lot of kids, Kitty is very astute at catching her parents saying things they'd rather she didn't. For example, Kitty once heard her father say, “Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt!” This made quite an impression.


Later, during a bowel movement, Kitty called her mom into restroom. “Mom, look, the monkeys are pushing it out!” she cried.

This toilet is set for "Expert Mode"

Now where have I seen this before?


Via Game Over.

For Ladies Only

Photo by Kerry.

It's a Star Wars thing.

See, the actual quote is from Admiral Akbar: "It's a trap!"

Here, that's been changed to the less charming: "It's a crap!"

Heheh . . . ouch.

How to Find Hidden Treasure!

Get up early on a fall or winter day, while it's still dark.

Let the dog out onto the yard, preferably when it's covered in leaves. Brown leaves.

Observe dog bust a grumpy. Using local landmarks, note where it is, so you can pick it up later.

At daylight, voyage forth to find the canine's vile intestinal product. Shuffle through leaves. Use landmarks. Nothing? Keep looking! Ah, what's that beneath your shoe? 

You have found the hidden treasure.