William Shakespeare: The Bard of Barf!

Sometime around 1590, William Shakespeare sat down and wrote a bloodbath of a play called Titus Andronicus. Here at Ultra-Gross, we don’t usually explore grisly topics. But since it’s Shakespeare, we’ll make an exception!

I don’t want to give away the plot, but the play has 14 murders, one live burial, and one pie made from two people and then eaten. 

Worst of all, the cannibal is a woman named Tamora who unwittingly eaten her own sons. This human-pie was made as revenge for a DIFFERENT atrocity, but anyway, now you can understand this new title for Titus Andronicus that Casey Fox came up with!

The Fart Jokes of William Shakespeare

"In sooth!"

William Shakespeare was one of the greatest writers of all time.

And he liked fart jokes!

The website Shakesyear has taken a look at a number of these. For instance, in Shakespeare’s play King Lear, the king gives a speech as his daughter is thrown out into a storm: 

“Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage, blow!”

Of course, you could argue that the idea is that the wind is blowing like in the illustration. But still! 

One of Shakespeare’s most famous fart references is from The Comedy of Errors, when a character named Dromio says:

A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind

Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.

In other words, it's better to have someone break their word to you than fart.

(To read more, click "Read more"!)

Classic Grossness III

“A man may break a word with you, sir; and words are but wind; ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.”
William Shakespeare, The Comedy of Errors

Cutting Off Your Best Friend's Head Isn't Easy

You've probably seen a picture like this. It’s from Shakespeare’s “Hamlet,” when the title character has a scene with the skull of a man named Yorick.

Okay, now stick with me: Del Close (picture below) was a Chicago comedian. Shortly before his death in 1999, Close made his friend Charna Halpern promise to donate his skull to a local theater. That way, Close could play the part of Yorick even though he was dead. (Some people will do anything to get on-stage!)

Halpern agreed. But when she asked the people at the hospital to cut Close’s head off after he died, they just laughed. No matter who she asked, Halpern couldn’t find anyone to cut Close’s head off! (Eventually, Close was cremated, with his head still attached.)

Halpern decided to get a “stand-in skull” from an anatomy shop. She found one that looked right, and then took it home to pull the skull’s teeth out.

Why? Because Close had worn dentures! This was a tough job. As Halpern said, “pulling teeth is like pulling teeth.” (Everyone’s a comedian!)

Anyway, then Halpern donated “Del Close’s skull” to a Chicago theater. It was the most famous skull in the city! Years passed, and then a reporter at the Chicago Tribune investigated the story. So Halpern confessed to what she had done. (Hey, I don’t blame her; she tried to do the right thing. But take it from me, cutting off your best friend’s head isn't easy.)

What about the stand-in skull today? The artistic director at the theater where it’s kept says, “The skull has no bookings at the moment.” (More details here.)