It's not easy writing a joke about barfing and Easter—but I did it!

"Now go to sleep; I don't want to hear another Peep out of you!" —Parent scolding child who got sick overeating Easter candy at night.
— Bart King (@BartKing) April 6, 2015

Happy Holidays!

Walmart upped their class game this year. pic.twitter.com/c6cESemSGo

— Kristi Harrison (@hereinid) December 25, 2014

This season, be careful—because NOTHING's grosser than fruit cake!

Via.

Stupid leprechauns!

Via.

WHO GIFT-WRAPPED THE TOILET?

Via Christine.

Happy Thanksgiving!

This is a Christmas tree made from fungus.

The fungal Xmas tree is composed of, from the top: Talaromyces stipitatus; Tree: Aspergillus nidulans; Ornaments: Penicillium marneffei; Trunk: Aspergillus terreus.

Why? Because nothing says Christmas like Aspergillus terreus!

Oh, and don't forget the snowman—

Via the J. Craig Venter blog.

Marmite: So gross, it'll make an elf barf in his cap!

You know what Marmite is, right?

THIS is a book?

Yes, The Dinosaur Who Pooped Christmas exists. 

Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I peed Thanksgiving? 

Have a Hacky, Gaggy Thanksgiving!

Your guests will be sure to throw up in their mouths when they see the Thanksgiving feast you've laid out. After all, you're going to follow these serving suggestions from Discovery News, right? They include a delicious cranberry sauce that's topped with poached wax worms!

“A Thanksgiving Day meal with intentional insect ingredients is hardly the norm for most Americans, but it could be our future due to the cost, nutritional and environmental benefits of edible bugs.”

Happy Val— oh, gag.

Last February, I shared this zombie Valentine's Day card from Elliott Quince over at QuinkyArt. And it's so good, I'm resurrecting it!

Looking for a unique Valentine's Day gift?

The Bronx Zoo wants you to consider naming a Madagascar hissing cockroach in honor of your loved one! (Plus, if you name a roach, you get a cocoa-roach. Dee-lish!)

It's going to be a gross Christmas.

Gross Santa!

In 1955, a man named Bradley McGinty came up with an idea for kooky holiday cards. The idea didn't work out; if you'd like to read the story behind them, go here. (Via.)

Lisa Hanawalt is funny.

Heheh, "bottom turkey". (From here.)

Hold Everything!

Science Insider

You're telling me that YESTERDAY was Hagfish Day . . . and nobody told me?

You are in BIG trouble.

Why are drinks green on St. Patrick's Day?

I know this holiday is a ways off, but I'm so excited at figuring this out, I have to share it now.

The reason that drinks are green on St. Patrick's Day is because leprechauns pee in them.

You're welcome!

There's nothing like a romantic cake!

Over at Lily Vanilli, you can order an anatomically correct "heart" cake. Impressive!

And don't worry, that's not real blood!

This amazing dessert is made with red velvet sponge cake with blackcurrant and cherry “blood”.

See, it's all perfectly innocent!

Oh, good grief.

Gross Valentine's Day Cards!

Over at QuinkyArt, artist Elliott Quince has some zombie Valentine's Day cards that will make your loved one's heart go pitter-pat. (And that might be the LAST sound it makes!)

All I got for Christmas was a lousy fish head!

My family doesn’t have any gross holiday traditions. So today, let’s turn to Annie Layne’s family. Every Christmas Eve, they celebrate with this:

Yes, that’s a big fish head. 

This is Polish dish called “vigilia.” To make it, you get a carp. After chopping off its head, you boil the fish until it turns into jelly. Then you make the kids eat their “jellied fish” before they get to open their presents.

The only problem I can see with this is that the kids might barf carp on their gifts while opening them. But other than that, thumbs up for vigilia. (And have a very happy holiday!)

Photo from the Rocktown Weekly News (via).