To make haggis, first, go to Scotland. Then, get a sheep’s stomach and fill it with oatmeal, fat, and a sheep’s cut-up liver, esophagus, heart, urinary tract, and lungs. Then let it simmer for four hours, and then pour Scotch whiskey over the whole thing.
But remember, haggis is NOT take-out food: Over 20 years ago, importing haggis from Scotland to the US was banned because haggis was considered “unfit” for humans to eat!
And now the bad news: The haggis is coming! A Scottish official has announced, “US authorities are planning a review of the unfair ban on haggis imports. We believe that reversing the ban would deliver a vote of confidence in Scottish producers, and allow American consumers to sample our world-renowned national dish.”
So now we’re ALL going to be able to eat real Scottish sheep’s stomachs filled with oatmeal, fat, and cut-up liver, esophagus, heart, and lungs.
And after having some of Scotland's world-renowned dishes, we can ask this question: “Just give it to me straight, Doc: How much time do I have left?”
Addition (2/2/10): U.S. officials have changed their minds. Haggis won't be allowed into the country after all!
Full story here.