January 25, 2010

Haggis is Gross!

Haggis really IS gross. What is it? Well, the poet Robert Burns described haggis as “gushing entrails”—and he was trying to be nice!

To make haggis, first, go to Scotland. Then, get a sheep’s stomach and fill it with oatmeal, fat, and a sheep’s cut-up liver, esophagus, heart, urinary tract, and lungs. Then let it simmer for four hours, and then pour Scotch whiskey over the whole thing.

But remember, haggis is NOT take-out food: Over 20 years ago, importing haggis from Scotland to the US was banned because haggis was considered “unfit” for humans to eat!

And now the bad news: The haggis is coming! A Scottish official has announced, “US authorities are planning a review of the unfair ban on haggis imports. We believe that reversing the ban would deliver a vote of confidence in Scottish producers, and allow American consumers to sample our world-renowned national dish.”

So now we’re ALL going to be able to eat real Scottish sheep’s stomachs filled with oatmeal, fat, and cut-up liver, esophagus, heart, and lungs.
And after having some of Scotland's world-renowned dishes, we can ask this question: “Just give it to me straight, Doc: How much time do I have left?

Addition (2/2/10): U.S. officials have changed their minds. Haggis won't be allowed into the country after all!
Full story here.


  1. You forgot to mention the sheep's bladder (otherwise known as urinary tract)which according to a recipe i saw on line is an integral part of the whole business of making haggis.The whole thing is then slow cooked to perfection for 3 hours in the sheep's stomach....and the whole thing is then eaten,nothing wasted!!Waste not,want not!

  2. Thank you for that...I've amended the post above!

  3. Some of us might shy away from haggis,but if this recession deeeeeepens,some might want to learn from the Scots how to ccok haggis(as for me I will still stay away from it).I detest offal as well,but some might even take lessons on how to boil it,fry it, bake it,poach it and make it more appealing than it actually is.Maybe we will all have to become more inventive with food ,growing our own,keeping some chickens,ducks etc...Goat meat was never very popular with the English,but I have read that since the beginning of the recession,some people started a business keeping goats in England and selling the meat(cheaper than beef),and it was slowly increasing in popularity because they are cheaper to keep than cattle.

  4. Interesting! Thanks for this...I especially like the idea of poaching offal. Ooh, that's a good name for a band:

    "Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to ROCK? Then please welcome Poaching Offal!"

  5. Bart King,i wonder if you are one of those adults who never really grew up (sorry no offense meant).but there are all sorts of gross things on your site.All i was looking for was some info about what this scottish delicacy really contains,and i found your site.Anyway,you are not doing any harm,so enjoy your research on gross stuff!!

  6. That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me today!

  7. Bart King,honestly,i wonder!!(It's anonymous again.)Why do you have such a fascination for gross stuff?Coud you please tell me where this fascination has its roots?Is it in your childhood?There are so many gross subjects you deal with on your site,i have refused to look further at the subjects you deal with after reading just two articles,because it churns my stomach.I mean no offense,really,because as a person you seem quite easy to like.But some of the things you talk about are not very pleasant.I have a suggestion:.Instead of writing about such base things,why don't you make a website dealing with the weird,strange,exotic,bizarre,different,unusual, practises that are found in virtually every culture,leaving out the things that are too base.Or you could deal with weird historic facts.But in my view it is possible to be too gross!!

  8. Short answer: After writing a book about gross stuff (which really is something that kids and immature adults are interested in), I created this blog to as a book companion.

    Thank you for the suggestions. It sounds like you might be more interested in:


No bad words, thanks!