Who wants some root beer?

Doesn't a nice sweaty mug of Dr. Swett's Root Beer sound good right about now?

B.O.: It's a career killer!

Via.

It's not easy getting kids to take laxatives...

But as this 1950s ad from Ex-Lax shows, there is a way!

"No wonder of the fellers in our crowd take Ex-Lax!"

Don't just brush your teeth and hair...brush your flesh!

Bonus: It's an electric flesh brush. Because as we all know, "the germ of all life is electricity"!

From Scientific American, 1891, via.

Body Odor destroys a marriage...before it can start!

1939 ad, via.

Who WOULDN'T want meat loaf every day?

By jbcurio.

From Good Housekeeping, 1969.

"Crown Roast of Frankfurters"

It's a meal fit for a king. A gross, gross king. (Via.)

No bone to wrestle!

Man, when I want a double-protein breakfast, I know right where to turn!

Instant Egg Nog Flavored Beads: It's the noggiest!

 "Just spoon these fragrant beads into milk. No eggs to break—the egg yolk is in it! These golden beads dissolve—actually poppity-pop into noggy, nutmeggy flavor . . . Do kids ever love it! . . . Keep handy for 365 holidays a year."

From here.

Now THIS is a creepy ad!

It's a good thing the trucks are clean, disinfected, and sanitary. I don't want my large, dead animals being transported in anything less!

From here (via).

Shrink-wrapped babies!

While wrapping babies in plastic may SEEM like a bad idea, trust me: It keeps them fresh for later!

Mitch O'Connell unwrapped a few vintage ads from yesteryear at his blog. Thanks, Mitch! (Via Boing Boing.)

Liver Loaf? No thanks!

Look, I know it's good for me, but I don't like liver. So I'm guessing that Liver Loaf won't be my fave.

Now if there were such a thing as TONGUE Loaf, then I'd be excited.

Yes!

Life magazine ad from 1942

 (via BoingBoing).

I don't want a gigantic zit!

Lucky for me, there's Antiphlogistine! 

Based on the picture, it doesn't matter where your boil is.

Just rub Antiphlogistine in your eye and the boil will go away!

"I want to look like that . . . decapitated head?!"

"Okay people, let's get creative. We need to come up with a magazine ad to sell 'hair-set tape'... you know, the tape women use on their hair to keep it in place. Any ideas?"

"Why don't we cut off a woman's head and put tape on it?"

"Great thought. Get to it, people!"