Here is an ad for a “wiping” device called the Comfort Wipe. It is a funny ad because it is so cheesy… and so wrong! Watch, and then we will discuss.
CLAIM: “Toilet paper is really archaic and disgusting.”
Wrong! “Archaic” means “no longer in everyday use.” That doesn’t sound like toilet paper to me!
CLAIM: “This [wiping your butt with a stick] is the modern solution!”
Wrong! Over 2,000 years ago, the ancient Romans wiped by tying sponges to sticks. The ad is right that toilet paper on a roll became available in the 1880s. But it cost the equivalent of over $10 per roll, so nobody bought it! What were people wiping with before that? Moss, grass, straw, and leaves. In the Middle East, people might wipe with small stones, followed by a water clean-up.
CLAIM: “Being a ‘big’ guy certainly has its advantages.”
I also like how the ad says “if you’re someone who doesn’t like to touch dirty toilet paper” then you need the Comfort Wipe. Gee, I guess that’s pretty much everyone, huh? Get a grip!