Overreactions to Gas Contractions

People can have bad reactions when someone else passes gas. And some people OVERreact. I remember reading a story from Houston where a guy named Juan cut one. Then Juan GOT cut by an annoyed man who threw a knife at him! (The meanie then followed that up by stabbing Juan in the chest.)

So can see how important it is that you avoid getting blamed for farting. To do this, you could choose not to fart, but let’s be realistic. More likely, you will need to choose a victim (known as a “scapegoat”). Choose your scapegoat wisely! Never pick a stranger or someone holding a knife.

Once you have made your choice, point to the person who will be scapegoated. Stand and state loudly, “You, sir/madam, are guilty of passing gas. The prosecution rests.”

Then sit down, looking important. Or run! (But keep trying to look important.)

Photo from SNL.