February 7, 2011

If You Outlaw Farting, Will Only Outlaws Fart?

Malawi is a country in southeast Africa. And a new bill is being proposed in Malawi to outlaw farting in public. So if they pass the law, you can’t pass gas!

This is going to be tricky. As we all know, pinning blame on a guilty farter is difficult. And if farting becomes a crime, won’t the criminal just try to blame someone else for his gas? 

I get blamed for someone else’s methane all the time, and it’s not even a crime in the U.S.! (Hey, maybe they could use police dogs to smell out the criminal.)

By Scott Wilcoxson
A Malawian woman said, “Children will openly deny having passed bad air and point at an elder. Culturally, this is very embarrassing.” Hmm, maybe Malawi is more like the U.S. than I realized!

Anyway, the idea is that passing this law would promote public decency. And one lawyer said it would the same as enforcing the laws that ban peeing in public.

Wait— you’re not supposed to pee in public? Man, nobody told me! (And I’m keeping away from Malawi. I could get a life sentence there!)

Stories from the Daily Mail and the BBC. If you want to read the exact proposed law, click “Read more”:

“Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighborhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanor.”

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