January 7, 2011

“Careful with that green juice! It’s Uncle Joe.”

Iona Erskine-Kellie
After a person dies, he tends to get gross pretty quickly. So what do you do with him? Well, the city of Cambridge has two environmentally-friendly ideas to dispose of dead bodies.

1.) Put the dead body in a silk bag. Then put immerse the bag in a strong alkaline liquid for three hours. The body dissolves

Mathias Klang
All that’s left behind is a greenish fluid and some white dust. (This is called resomation.)

The fluid isn’t toxic, so you can save it or just pour it out on the lawn!

2.) Freeze the dead body using liquid nitrogen. And I mean FREEZE it down to minus-320° Fahrenheit (minus-196° Celsius). That makes the corpse so brittle, it’s freeze-dried! Then you can just break it into tiny bits and compost it. Or bury it. Or sprinkle it on the lawn!

And “natural burials” are already allowed. This is when you put the body in a compostable container and bury it. Then it composts naturally! 

If you think these ideas are gross, think about the alternatives: Burying a body and letting it rot in a metal box, or barbecuing it until it turns to dust. These methods are just as gross and much less environmental!

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