Hi! Do you notice anything unusual about me? No, not my hair, silly. Look at these fingernails! Incredible, eh? I’ve been growing them for 15 years! People sometimes ask me, "Why have you done this thing? Do you need to borrow nail clippers?"
Ha! I do not need your clippers. For ever since I was 15 years younger, I had ONE goal: To get on Ultra-Gross!— and today, my dream is reality!
"Now what?" you ask? I revel in the glory! This is great. Just great...
Okay, maybe I WILL borrow those nail clippers after all.
Photo from the Telegraph.