Barney was a decent but dim sort of guy. One afternoon, we were talking about whales and he seemed quite suspicious when I told him that whales weren’t fish and that they breathed air.
“Okay then, so how do they breathe underwater?” Barney asked.
“You know when they come up to the surface and squirt water in the air? Well that’s them breathing,” I said.
He looked at me like I was an idiot. “That’s not breathing!” he laughed. “That’s them FARTING. Their bums are on the top and they come up to fart! Didn’t you even know that?”
“Um... I’m pretty sure they’re breathing,” I replied, slightly stunned by this new information.
“Think about it,” he added slowly, so I’d understand, “if they didn’t come to the top when they farted, their butts would fill up with water and they’d sink.”
Pygmy right whale photo
for Whales, Dolphins, and Other Marine Mammals of the World.