March 24, 2011

"De-corking the borking"—Sayings for Going Poop

By Dave Praeger
Whenever I have to poop, I like to announce, “I’m going to bust a grumpy."

But as much as I love that saying, I've been looking for a replacement. Here are some possibilities!

Poetry
—Pump a clump of dump from my rump
—Download a brownload
—Dirty squirties

Colorful!
I’ve got to go bury a Quaker (Quakers used to always wear brown clothes.)
Slopping gruel in Oliver’s bowl
Baiting the trap
Dropping the kids off at the pool

From here.
Drums
—Sitting on the thunderbox
—Rolling the snares
—Crashing the cymbals
—Preparing to drop the tom-toms

Scientific
—I’m experiencing a peristaltic rush
—My colon just sent me an IM

Working Hard
—Making some butt mud
—Building a log cabin
—Producing output
—Doing some spring cleaning

Action!
—Wrestling a leprechaun
—Dropping the deuce
—Catching a brown trout
—Pilot to bombardier: Open main hatchway!
—Launching torpedoes
—Drop anchor
—Captain, we have a message from the poop deck!

Food
—Making a chocolate brioche
—Preparing some currywurst
—Scrambling butt eggs
—Churning the bum butter

I Don’t Want to Think About It
—Cutting rope
—Pinching a yam
—Dropping the Browns off at the Super Bowl.

Release the…
—Release the hostages.
—Release the hounds!
—Release the Kraken!!

What the What?!
—Cripping a crapple
—De-corking the borking
—Shtounga!
—Making a banoogie
—Researching Richard the Turd
—Pinch-hitting for Kurt Bevacqua (he played for the San Diego Padres back in the days when they wore dung-brown uniforms).

3 comments:

  1. Also, out of many possible descriptive phrases, "let loose a squat", or anything with the word 'squat' in the line. Works.

    ReplyDelete
  2. prairie dogging it, wambat sneaking out of the cave, turtle poking its head out.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Releasing a boneless brown trout.

    ReplyDelete

No bad words, thanks!