July 9, 2011

"Put your heinie in the air!"

For people suffering from gas pains, my mother-in-law has always said, "Put your heinie in the air." That is, get on all fours and raise your butt up . . . and voilĂ !

If you can't picture that, this "health book" has a helpful illustration:

While this is well and good, my question is this: Why would anyone choose to do this on the floor of a public restroom? Two things are likely to happen there:

  • Someone will see you and you'll feel slightly foolish.
  • You will be covered in horrible germs and will then die a horribly germy death!

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