Stop wiping your bum with your cell phone!

By Wonderlane

Sheesh, I just read an article that says many cell phones are covered in poop germs. 

In the study, one-in-six phones had E. coli smeared on them. That’s one of the worst butt germs there is…it could KILL you!

And as far as I can see, there’s only one way so much voodoo butter could have gotten there: People are wiping themselves with their cell phones.

Okay, there IS one other possibility: If people didn’t wash their hands after busting grumpies, and then they talked on their phones, that could do it. But surely every single person in the world uses soap and water after wiping the whale eye, right? Right?*

*Wrong.