"Honey, did you reboot the toilet?"

I’ve already caught news of the Numi, the new $6,400 toilet. But I didn’t know it could do so much!

I was just reading this article, which states that the Numi has no levers or buttons at all. Instead, everything works with a remote control. Not only does this allow you to flush, heat, dry, and play music (what do I want to listen to when I bust a grumpy?), but you can also personalize your profile. And the Numi will remember you for next time!

When the bathroom is dark, the toilet lights itself up so you can find it. And there are more lights in the bowl in case you’re a man who’s peeing. This way, you know where to aim, a problem we had in our house just yesterday. (“The toilet’s leaking!” “Er, no it’s actually not.”)

When you approach the Numi, it senses you and raises its lid (but not the heated seat). Is it chilly? You’ll feel warm air being blown onto your feet from the bottom of the toilet. Now here’s a great feature:

“If you are a man standing in front of the toilet, you will notice a blue beam of light projected on the right-side floor, adjacent to the toilet. Place your foot in the path of that beam and the toilet seat will rise; break the beam again and the toilet will flush and the seat will lower itself.”

There is also a bidet in the toilet . . . but I don’t have the patience to explain all of THAT. Anyway, if you use it, you’ll be spraying and drying your butt region. When you’re done, it will flush automatically and then lower the seat and lid.

What about the music? Well, according to the article’s writer, “The audio quality was quite good, considering that you are listening to a toilet.” But he adds that with all that technology, the time will come when you have to reboot the toilet!