January 27, 2012

How to Fart, Pro Edition

My wife and I were at a nice restaurant, and I'd been holding in some gas for about an hour. Since we were seated by the window, I finally took advantage of a pedestrian.

Shifting in my seat for a right-cheek sneak, I leaned toward the window, pointed, and said, "Do you like that woman's hat?"

My wife gave me a chilling look. "I know what you just did."


But then I had a brainstorm. Like a lot of men, I keep my wallet in my back pocket. To get the wallet out, I have to lean to one side, and reach my arm down. It's the PERFECT opportunity to float an air-biscuit!

Now, whenever I'm in need, I just reach for my wallet. "Let's see, do I have any cash?" Or "I just wanted to make sure I put my license back in here." That sort of thing.

You're welcome!

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