May 2, 2014

Anus Horribilus

When it comes to talking about the chute that poop comes out of, I prefer using the term “egress valve.” But the correct term is “anus.”

Okay, now this will seem offtopic, but be patient: Have you ever heard of Optical Character Recognition? It’s a “text-recognition program” that scans books. But a woman named Sarah Wendell has discovered that the program can’t tell the difference between the words “arms” and “anus.”

Why should you care? Because as printed books are scanned and put online, people are wondering why there is so much anus-raising, anus-flinging and anus-wrapping.

Two examples:
  • “When she spotted me, she flung her anus high in the air and kept them up until she reached me.”
  • “Mrs. Nevile, in exquisite emotion, threw her anus around the neck of Caroline...”

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No bad words, thanks!