Celebrity Gross-Outs!

Sure, celebrities are famous. And rich. Plus, I bet they get lots of free stuff, like gum. But does that make them so different from the rest of us? Maybe! To test this, let’s look at what celebrities get “grossed out” by.

Many celebrity choices seem normal. For example, actress Amanda Peet is freaked out by spiders. And when Vivica A. Fox said that she doesn’t like B.O. because she’s got “a sensitive nose,” I said “Fair enough.”

But I think that Jessica Alba was being too general when she said that “bad hygiene” is gross. Um, could you narrow it down a little? And actor Robert Iler (The Sopranos) made a totally obvious choice when he said, “When you see someone throwing up... That’s disgusting.” Good one! Oh, you know what else is gross? Poop! Bet you never thought of that!

That’s why Lisa Kudrow gets extra credit for being specific and not pointing out the most obvious thing there is. “You know sometimes people have that white foam on the sides of their mouth? It’s not really foam, it’s more like glue.” Yeah, that’s pretty bad!

Finally, there are plenty of famous folk who clearly have been spoiled beyond belief. Take Kelly Monaco, for instance. (She isn’t that famous, but she was in Dancing With the Stars, so let’s just pretend.) Kelly said she was revolted by “dumpsters in the back of fast-food chains and grocery stores.”

Dumpsters? Yeah, it’s too bad that people are properly disposing of their trash. Maybe we could, like, start a petition against it or something?

But I like the minor eccentric thing that someone finds disgusting. For example, Dakota Fanning said, “Tomatoes are weird. The only way I can eat ketchup is to [pretend] that it doesn’t come from tomatoes.”

Hey, you know what? I’m a celebrity too! After all, I have this blog. And once, I got fan mail. (Thanks, Mom!) So here’s my pet gross peeve: I don’t mind if someone has food on or between their teeth. Some poppy seeds? No worries. Got a chunk of chive? I can look away.

But if there’s something generic and white between someone’s teeth— Ugh. Seeing that is worse than a dumpster full of tomatoes!

And I also can actually get goose bumps of disgust when I see spitwads. There’s something about those little wet pieces of paper that gives me the chills.