What I Don't Want to Be for Halloween

It's hard to think of a costume I'd rather NOT wear than this one. Imagine what could happen!

*ding dong*

[Door opens]

Me: Trick or treat!

Homeowner: Er...why are you dressed as a huge pile of poop?

Me: You know, there really isn't an explanation!

Homeowner: Well, I'll give you some candy if you'll clear off quickly. It doesn't do to have poop on the front porch.

Me: Yes!

Hmmm...maybe I SHOULD wear this costume after all!