September 27, 2010

Yom Kippur is so fun, I can't sit down!

The Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur rolled past recently. It’s known as the Day of Atonement. To observe it properly, Jews don’t eat or drink during its whole 24-hour duration.

This is tough for anyone who is addicted to caffeine. If these people can’t drink coffee, they get jittery migraine headaches during Yom Kippur. It's horrible! Is there any way these poor people can get their caffeine without drinking it? Yes!

With a suppository! You know, those big gel tabs that people stick up their…er…butts? Yep, just stick a caffeine suppository up there, and your body gets all the caffeine it would normally have...without the bad breath!

Some people might think that putting a “bump in your trunk” is cheating. An observant Jew named Baruch Herzfeld said, “[Some people] love a good loophole.” (Get it? "Loophole"?)

And not all Jewish leaders love this idea. Rabbi Simcha Weinstein said, “We wanna keep Jews in the synagogue and not in the bathroom.”

Uh...amen?
Top picture from HALOLZ,
hat from zazzle,
quotes from this story.

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