May 8, 2011

How Colored Poop Can Improve Your Life

Writing about why asparagus makes your pee stink made me wonder about what foods make your poop stink.

Wait. That's pretty much all of them!

"The horror!"
Okay, what about foods that make your poop change color? There's nothing weirder than busting a grumpy, doing a quick check, and finding that it's RED (or green, blue, orange, etc.)

Why would you want to poop red grumpies? It allows you to pretend you're bleeding internally. All you have to do is eat one of the following foods, poop some red poop, and then get someone to look at it.

This person will be convinced you're dying. So it'll be the perfect time for you to ask for a favor. Or to borrow money!

The healthiest food that makes your poop turn red is the beet. If you eat enough beets (try some of the beet soup called borscht), your grumpies might even turn purple!
BONUS: Beets also turn your pee rusty-red.

Lots of processed foods use bright dyes. Your body can't process the dyes, so they come out your butt the same color. Take red velvet cake, for instance. It's sweet going down the hatch, and bright red coming back out the other end!

If you prefer breakfast cereal to desserts, go with Frankenberry Cereal. The colored poop you get from it is sometimes called Frankenberry stool.
WARNING: Frankenberry will actually turn your poop a pinkish-red. So in addition to dying, this will be the one time in your life when you'll have people thinking your poop is cute!

Tarsiers by Salim Al-Harthy,
beets photo from,
velvet cake from here
cereal from here.


  1. Can red velvet cake turn your urine rusty colored or am I dying???

    1. you begin to die as soon as you are born, for some it just takes longer. (I've got a 101 year old grandpa.)


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