May 4, 2010

We Interrupt This Blog…

Hey, I have exciting news! I’ve been engaged in a high-level experiment designed to test what I would do if a UFO crashed somewhere and an alien were found inside. 

To test this, I had a UFO with an alien inside crash near my home. Carefully, I approached the space vehicle. (It sort of looked like a giant dog food can with a cupcake on top.) I opened what appeared to be a door and looked in.

I saw movement!

Gently, I threw an object in the door that was guaranteed to prove that I meant no harm and that intelligent life exists on our planet. Then I backed away from the door.

From inside the ship, I heard strange warblings. At first, they sounded friendly and curious, but then the aliens seemed to begin screaming. Suddenly, an item flew out of the spacecraft door, the door slammed shut, and the entire craft lurched into the sky and flew off!

What could have frightened them away? Looking down at my feet, I was startled to see that the item I had given them had been chucked right back: A signed copy of The Big Book of Gross Stuff!

Since they’re aliens and communicate differently than humans, I wonder if that meant that they liked it?

"Alien Abduction Lamp" 
(shown above) available here. 

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