It's time to flex your mentals and learn how your body makes gas from beans!

How a Bean Becomes a Fart from Giant Ant.

This is a really disgusting book review.

"It's a book that will suck you in, consume you for days or weeks...then let you out the other side both entertained and educated." 

So, the book EATS me? (Via.)

"Your Colon and You"

Fiber Kills!

Wow, there's a book called Fiber Menace: The Truth About the Leading Role of Fiber in Diet Failure, Constipation, Hemorrhoids, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Ulcerative Colitis, Crohn's Disease, and Colon Cancer?

I've always wanted to read a book like that!

Hey, do you want to see some food get digested?

The action starts at the 2:00 mark.

Let's meet...the Pork Tapeworm!

What's so gross about a worm? Well, when it's inside your guts, the worm can become a bit of a problem. According to the Nature Wants to Eat You tumblr:

The pork tapeworm (Taenia solium) doesn’t really have any jaws, or a mouth. Cool. It only latches onto your guts with the grappling hooks on its face. No biggie. And it can grow to several metres in length. 

Humans can become infected by the tapeworm after eating undercooked pork. Most have no symptoms. Yay! Some get seizures, blindness, and a mild case of death. Boo!

What does brewed luwak poop taste like? I'm glad you asked!

Over at BoingBoing, Maggie Koerth-Baker has a post about drinking brewed luwak poop. You know, the most expensive coffee in the world?

As I’ve written about here and in The Big Book of Gross Stuff, the luwak is a civet (think of a cross between a weasel and a cat) that lives in Southeast Asia. And it likes to eat the fruit of the coffee tree. You see, coffee trees actually grow fruit. As the fruit ripens, it looks sort of like a cherry. And the coffee “bean” is a pit INSIDE of the fruit!

So the luwak climbs coffee trees, eats the fruit, and then poops out the indigestible “beans”.

By Mandy.

As the coffee beans go through the animal’s digestive system, stomach acids give the bean a special flavor. And if you collect those beans AFTER they’ve been pooped, the coffee will supposedly be smooth and chocolaty.

Ms. Koerth-Baker says that her local coffee shop sells these beans for $420 a pound! Curious, she decided to have a cup of the stuff. Here’s what she found:

• There is a difference in flavor. Kopi Luwak is noticeably not bitter. Swallow a sip, and it's like you just drank some water. There's no sting or heavy flavor left in the back of your throat . . . . As my husband put it, "Everything that is wrong with cheap gas station coffee is right about this."
• That difference is totally not worth the price. Again, to quote my husband, "If . . . $420 a pound represented a much smaller amount of my time worked, I'd probably drink this. As it is, not worth it."

Illustration for The Big Book of Gross Stuff

by the ebullient Russ Miller.

How can Bile Beans be healthy?

New York Times

Bile: A bitter greenish-brown alkaline fluid that helps with digestion. Bonus fact: It’s stored in the gallbladder!

Beans: Edible seeds that grow in pods. People who eat them often fart.

Living corndogs are gross. (And so are dead ones!)

This ad —for something that calms upset stomachs— takes place at a fair. Good strategy! I went to a fair once. I ate a hot dog and then got on a wild ride called the Zipper. Can you guess what happened?

Why, yes! I DID barf my brains out! The Zipper basically unzipped my entire digestive system! And THIS commercial brought back those bad old memories. It tries to make me feel so sick, I have to go out and buy the product!



But I have a BETTER solution: Avoid corndogs!

Okay, what wise guy locked my bowels?

And that my bowels ARE locked, how will I ever get them open again?

If only there were a book I could read to help me with this problem—

Hey, look! Thank you, Salem Kirban!

Are You a Gut Reader?

Did you know there's a magazine called Gut? Me either!

It's intended for doctors who specialize in ... guts. 

And look at that cover! It shows a patient with diverticulosis. It's what when your intestine grows little pouches because you’re not eating enough fiber. 

In the photo, the green parts are diverticulosis pouches. The intestine is pink. And this is actually the last part of the intestine (called the colon), just before it hits the rectum.

You’re welcome.

You may be thinking, “Sure I could subscribe to GUT, but where would I read it?” Well, besides a stool, you could read Gut on the toilet.

Where better to remember to eat more fiber?

Photo from Du Cane Medical Imaging Ltd.

True Champions Poop Their Pants!

"Is there time to hit the loo?"

When people get nervous, they have to poop. And athletes get nervous a lot! The bigger the game (or race, or whatever), worse it is. Of course, athletes usually hold it, but not always.

Which is why one “digestive research” poll found that 75% of athletes have pooped their pants at one time or another!

"Must escape surfer log!"

Pro surfer Kelly Slater says the need to “GO” can even happen in the ocean. “The secret for going No. 2 in the ocean is being down current from everybody. You don't want to go UP current at your friends. That's rude.”

If the athletes are lucky, they take care of business BEFORE the big game. Take the 2010 Super Bowl. The players on the New Orleans Saints called it the Super Bowel! Linebacker Scott Fujita said, “We are moments away from the Super Bowl, the highlight of our athletic lives, and pretty much everyone is in the bathroom just absolutely blowing up the stalls.”

And now join me for the Athlete’s Pants-Pooping Hall of Fame!

—Car Accident! In 2004, NASCAR racer Tony Stewart notified his pit crew that he was coming in to take a dump. Shortly afterwards, he radioed in again: “Never mind.” 

I love this picture.

— NFL players use the saying “snot-bubbled” to describe when a player gets hit so hard, he gets the snot knocked out of him. But there should be a new saying: poop-bubbled! That’s what happened in 2007 to an unnamed Carolina Panthers player. He took a vicious hit to the lower body and pooped his pants. That was a bad day to be wearing white pants. 

—There are PortaPotties all along marathon routes. But it takes precious time to go in, lock the door, and wipe up afterwards. In 2005, runner Paula Radcliffe was just a few miles from winning the London Marathon but SHE HAD TO GO. So Radcliffe balanced herself on a metal barricade and pulled her shorts over. Then she pooped right on the street, right next to a spectator! After that, she took off running (wouldn't you?), won the marathon, and set a world record.

—In 1996, the women’s winner of the Boston Marathon was Uta Pippig. When she crossed the finish line, she was covered in diarrhea. I will not describe any more details.
Fun Fact: Runners and power-walkers call the farting that comes before a big poop the “walkie-talkies.”
(Click “Read more” to read more.)