All I want for Christmas is a slime blob.

Over in the English town of Ockbrook, people are freaking out because moving piles of slime have invaded their area. What, doesn't anyone read anymore? As The Big Book of Gross Stuff clearly explains, this is just an innocent dog vomit slime mold infestation.

Sure, the slime molds move around. They're alive, aren't they? But what I really like about this story is its headline:

Slime Blobs Appear in Ockbrook

That's poetry!

And the Slime Mold "Style Award" goes to...

By Nick Cantle

The Stemonitis fusca is a slime mold that's somewhere between gross and amazing. It keeps its its jelly-like body (that's where the spores are!) elevated on stilts. Oh, and it can move. (Yikes!)  

What do you get when you combine slime and mold?

I write quite a bit about slime molds in The Big Book of Gross Stuff. These should be the most disgusting organisms on the face of the earth. After all, just look at that name:

SLIME

MOLD

But the more I’ve learned about slime molds, the less gross they seem. Sure, they’re slimy and moldy. Yes, they can crawl around and turn into a “gigantic, pulsating networks of protoplasm.” 

But they’re so pretty! I mean, look at this slime mold in the forest. Nice color! And when I touch it— urk, the slime mold seems to be paralyzing my hand. Now my whole arm is numb . . . can’t type . . . good grief, I’m being eaten by a gigantic, pulsating network of protoplasm!

Oh well. See you tomorrow!

Photos from the New York Times.