"I CAN HAZ POOP IN A BRIEFCASE"

The My Carry Potty is a little briefcase for poop. After using it, kids can carry it with them and then impress elders.

“I can poop on a potty!”

“Good for you!”

“Here’s the proof!” *opens case*

“Oh dear Lord!”

"You want me to WHAT?"

I find My Carry Potty silly for a number of reasons. First, its makers dressed this poor girl in the most impractical outfit for peeing and pooping ever. I don't know about you, but the LESS gauzy lace I'm wearing in the bathroom, the better!

And second, look at its product description:

—“My Carry Potty was invented and designed by a mum for mums...”

Weird. It looks a little small for adults!

—“[My Carry Potty is] completely leak and odour-proof...”

So after Junior poops in the potty, you can forget about it for days!

—“Many parents tend to put [potty training] off because it can be inconvenient, especially when you're always on the move.”

Totally! My parents were so busy, they didn’t even teach me how to talk until I was 16.

Talking Kiddy-Toilets!

Ask someone about their first memory. I bet they don't talk about the first time they took a “big boy/girl poop.” 

Why? Can we really not remember this important event? Or are we all lying to avoid embarrassment?

I don’t know! My earliest memories involve playing in a sandbox at the bowling alley’s daycare. (Don’t ask.) And I don’t remember if I sat on a kiddy-potty or not!

But I know that if I did, the kiddy-toilet didn’t talk to me. Now THAT I would remember! But that’s exactly what little kids today have to put up with: Talking Kiddy-Toilets! 

For example, the Cheer for Me! Potty asks questions, like: “What’s YOUR name?”

“My name is 'Be quiet, I’m trying to concentrate here'!”

The Cheer for Me! also plays a song:

Toilet paper, toilet paper
, on a roll next to me


I can have a few squares


Maybe one or two squares
. How about three?

Hey, it’s encouraging the toddler to save toilet paper. Good call!

But I’m STILL not telling you my name till we know each other better. (My mommy taught me not to talk to strange toilets.)