THIS is the world's ugliest dog.

His name is Mugly. You're welcome.

Behold the Fanfin Sea Devil

It lives WAAAAY down deep in the sea. (Lucky for you!) Via.

Echolocution rocks!

The scientific name for the Griffin's Leaf Nosed bat is Hipposideros griffini. But you can call it "Gah!" (Via.)

Want to see an unpleasant animal in a bowl?

Aye-aye!

That is, this is a baby aye-aye. It's actually kind of cute, in a horrible, horrible way. Via ZooBorns.

Ugly Baby?

When asked to comment about an ugly infant, Lewis Carroll recommended saying:

“That IS a baby!”

Photo by Chalky Lives.

All dogs are beautiful.

Except this one. Blech!

A chihuahua named Yoda won this year's World's Ugliest Dog Award.

Yay. Article here!

The "Stargazer Fish"— Worst fish name ever?

If you're going to call a fish a "stargazer", it should have kind of an innocent, star-gazing quality. But THIS is what the stargazer fish actually looks like!

"Mommy? I'm scared!"

What a nightmare! Here's what I think of when I look at that mug:

1. Zombies
2. Mummies
3. Anything but stargazers!

The stargazer fish buries itself in the ocean floor and waits for something to swim by. And if anyone messes with it, the stargazer can give an electric shock!

Oh, did I mention its poisonous spines yet?

Photo from National Geographic.

Gurnin’ Through a Braffin’!

What are these idiots doing? They're not idiots, they're champions! See, in England, there have been “gurning” contests since 1267. These are competitions where people make the ugliest possible faces they can… with the ugliest face being declared the winner!

So up top wearing the horse collar is 2010 World Gurning Champion Tommy Mattinson. And to the side here he poses with a women’s champion, Michaela Strachan.

What's the secret to gurning success? According to the Encyclopedia Britannica blog:

A classic gurn involves jutting your lower jaw as far forward and as high as possible, and then covering your upper lip with your lower lip. It has become traditional for contestants to put their heads through a horse collar (known as “gurnin’ through a braffin’”) – and the person who manages to achieve “the greatest transformation of the face without artificial help” wins the contest and becomes the World Champion. [One winner was once disqualified for putting vinegar in his mouth to help him make a face.]

Gurning champ
Gordon Blacklock

Even the most attractive of people look pretty gruesome when they’re gurning. [But] it’s people with no teeth… who can often produce the greatest gurns—because they can move their lower jaw further up—sometimes even managing to cover their entire nose with their lower lip. In fact one competitor, Peter Jackman, even went so far as to have his teeth removed to make his face more flexible and give him a better chance of winning.

Removing your teeth to win a face-making contest? Now that makes ME gurn!

Photos from the Egremont Crab Fair.

Thanks to No Big Woo for the tip!

Are FEET gross?

Some people think feet are the ugliest part of the human body.

I was never really sure that I agreed with that until I saw a picture of gardener Stuart Bolton's foot-like carrot. And you know what? It looks better than the human foot it's next to!

Photo by Stuart Bolton for the Northern Echo.

Please, leave your eyes IN their sockets!

Every year, Ripley’s Believe It or Not! sponsors the Great Face Off. The purpose of this noble tradition is to “find the person who can make the funniest, silliest, weirdest, creepiest or craziest face.” And we have a winner…

His name is Franklin Hannatt. He can pop his eyelids open incredibly wide, which is a flexibility shared by the jaws of Jim Purol. The man with the “World’s Biggest Mouth” displays his skills here with 200 straws in his maw.

That's impressive, Jim...but now let's see you drink out of them!

Photos from Ripley's Believe It or Not!

Gross, Disgusting, Repulsive Animals (and the humans who love them!)

Yesterday, I was reading an article about animals that freak humans out. I actually disagreed with lots of its choices (manatees are NOT gross), but I'll admit that the star-nosed mole can still get to me.

Gary Meszaros/Photo Researchers

That nose with those fleshy feelers...oy vey! But the best animal photos ran in the reader submissions. Here's a few of the animals that people thought were repulsive...and sometimes, lovable!

Rebecca Bazell is asked, "Is that a pig on a leash?"

Jamie Peyton can't figure out where this turtle's face is. Neither can I!

Rick Korchak calls his cat A.L.F.: Alien Life Form.

Frank Funicello nominated the marabou stork.

And my award-winner is Carol Rabenhorst's picture of a sea anemone eating seaweed! Oh, blech.

Star-nosed mole photo by Gary Meszaros.

All other photos from the New York Times reader gallery.

The Ugly Bug Contest

Over at Arizona State University, they're running this year's edition of the Ugly Bug Contest. Eight bugs have been selected as finalists this year, including the cockroach, the snakefly, and the blade aphid.

Oh, and while you're making up your mind, let's take a moment to honor last year's winner: the tick!

Join Me In Congratulating This Man!

Readers of The Big Book of Boy Stuff know that there are real competitions for people who are good at making faces. Contorting one's face into a wacky expression is known as "gurning."

Gurning contests have been around for centuries. In 1768, a face-making contest in England (with the motto “The Ugliest Grinner Shall Be the Winner”) was won by a man who was later disqualified.

Why? It was found that he'd put vinegar in his mouth to help him make a face. Cheater!

A guy who didn't cheat was the winner of this year's World Gurning Championship: Gordon Blacklock. He entered the 13 times, and he finally got the gold medal for grimacing. Congratulations, Gordon!

In Space, Nobody Can Hear How Bald You Are

What does the future hold for our species? Will we be more mature about “disgusting” things someday? Maybe!

Will we be less disgusting ourselves? Probably not! In fact, any futuristic humans who end up living in outer space will be bald, fat, and ugly. Rats!

But don’t take my word for it. Astrobiologist Dr. Lewis Dartnell said so! That’s because the bones and muscles of any people who live in zero-gravity (or low gravity) won’t develop properly. That will leave our species stunted and weak!

Plus, how can anyone burn calories without gravity? We’ll be chubsters!

In this news report, the doctor continues: “Without gravity, fluid [will] pool in the skull, which would cause the head to look permanently swollen out of proportion… Also, with no need for hair to insulate the head or eyelashes to flick dust from their eyes, future humans may become completely hairless.”

Well, just as long as we don't look like these people, I guess I can live with that!